where have i gone wrong raising my kid, what do i do now?

your son is the next antichrist. we are all doomed.

Your son is just trying to get under your skin. He's testing the waters of how to be an individual. I also have a 13 year old son and will admit that I would be devastated if he exercised his recently gained autonomy by recognizing Hitler for anything other than what he was. I would however not react at first. I'd later ask him if he knows what Hitler did? Then find something to relate it to or watch/read about the holocaust together. It's devastating and he may look stoic, but it will sink in.

For example, I had an incident with my son making comments about his (possibly) gay teacher having a boyfriend. I related it to a lesbian friend of ours that my son adores. When he realized it was the same concept, I haven't heard him talk down about his (possibly) gay teacher. He was just following the crowd for attention and really not thinking about what it meant to be a hater.

Try not to over-react. You continue to be open minded and he'll come back around. He's just trying to be different from you.

To be completely honest with you I think your son was trying to be funny in a 'cool' way, if the strange behaviour is a regular thing it might be a good idea to ask questions about his friends, if they are 'strange' too then its something you are going to have to wait out. As long as he isn't violent or disruptive I personally don't see any need for panic. I went through a strange phase myself as a teen, the main intention of which I now understand was to shock my parents into paying attention to me, perhaps it's a similar thing. Also, even though Hitler was a very messed up individual he was also an incredibly intelligent man, an artist and a creative thinker, you can't just say Hitler was evil and leave it at that, there's always more then the blanket impression. In conclusion, I don't think its as big a deal as you think it is.

Is this the only time he's done something like this?

If he is normally a good and intelligent kid then i would just be completely silent and have nothing to do with what he is doing. If that were me i would get the message and probably feel ashamed later.

Remember that kids do make mistakes in their adolescence and 13 is one of the hardest years (most suicides happen at age 17 with 13 being second)

I might be feeding a troll, but anyways -

who gave him the cake to celebrate with? You need to find out the source of this idiocy.

Make sure this wasn't some stupid joke he's playing at you to push your buttons.

Then rent Schindler's list, or 'It's a beautiful life' or any other movie or documentary about what Hitler did.

Make sure he knows that unless he is german, or blonde hair blue eyes, he'd still be dirt in Hitler's eyes.

to start with, you can congratulate him on his general knowledge. Ask him why does he wants to celebrate? if he really admires or its something friends are doing together! Also, introduce him to the atrocities of the world war and his role, let him judge in the end(he is young and understands the world his own way......may be the material/people he is exposed to made him conclude differently about Hitler). Hopefully, you both will celebrate his death day in 10 days.

Just explain to him the horror of what Hitler did. Horrific as they are, it'd be helpful for him to physically see some photos of the result of what Hilter did- just on google or whatever. Also explain to him that some of his classmates are probably Jewish. If he claims that it was just a joke, reiterate that it's inappropriate.

Don't blame yourself, if you've done your best that's all you can do yeah

He's obviously being influenced as he is clearly not family led on this.

I'd sit him down and make him watch scenes of the holocaust, maybe that will bring him to his senses.

You need to sit with him and discuss about the obscenities of war too.

TEENS LIKE TO IRRITATE THEIR PARENTS AND GO AGAINST EXISTING THEORIES.........do not assume he will do what he says,just listen him out What i cant stand is when they thrust the cake on some nbodys face thats worse!