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Music critics out there...I need your words on the lyrics I made for my long lost someone...?
Here's the lyrics of my song:
*Steel-hearted Lady*
She's the one that I can't be without
I'm shattered, broken, torn and crushed
My life has been so empty since she took my heart away
Buried dreams kept haunting me
"Why?" is the question I can't flee
Staring at the dead-black night
Searching for some glittering sight
But even if I open my eyes wide
I still can't see those stars that hide
Why can't it be you and me?
It's still hard to set you free
Cho.
On this cold, dark night I'm begging you
Come back to me, I love you so
I don't wanna let you go
My heart is longing for you
My love belongs to you
I love you so, that's all I know
Loneliness hovers wherever I go
My heart was torn in two
And my soul's gripped by sorrow
Why don't you come back to me
My steel-hearted lady
*********-----------************
P.S.
It's a power ballad song...
I'd appreciate all your comments and suggestions...Thanks in advance...
to User,
I certainly can write lyrics about war or anything but this lyrics came out from my own personal experience, thus, an emotional one...
And to all those who made their comments, recommendations, reactions, you are all welcome...Your words made me more confident on what I am planning to write next, most especially Bez...
And to Spectacular Antics,
Thanks for seeing my point directly coz this song was all about loving and missing a person at the same time...
Peace bro...
thnx jpc0480 for the comments and suggestions!...it is greatly appreciated...actually my band had already finished arranging this song, but the problem here in our place is that, you can seldom find somebody to willingly help you out with your music...I'll consider your suggestion after giving it some time...thnx lots!...Jah Bless!...
P.S
I just dropped by the songcrypt website and I found it very interesting!...been to ur personal profile, too and it seems that we have a lot in common...I am a bass player also...i'm in my workplace now, so maybe i'll know more about the site later...
PEACE OUT!...
8 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Nice lyrics. I could almost imagine it being sung. The thing as a whole goes very smoothly. Nice job.
Peace.
- BezLv 51 decade ago
I could tell you to write more personal lyrics, but it kind of all made sense when I read that it's a power ballad. Power ballads can't be too personal, as they are written to be played in stadiums and appeal to the largest audience possible. To achieve this, they have to be about universal concepts. So in that sense, I think you've done a good job!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I think they're pretty weak, no offense. I feel like ur just saying I love you and miss you but not making us feel ur feelings. I cant explain but Im a poet so Im used to expressing emotions I just think u should make the lyrics deeper.
Cheers
- 1 decade ago
thankyou for your answer on my question I am for sure going to try and do what you told me to try. These lyrics are very well done and it sounds like the song would be awesome :D
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- 1 decade ago
This just made me go woww... This is really, really good. And i appreciate your answer, it really does help.
