My two oldest kids said they feel like I abandoned my children? Do yo think so?

Start treating your kids right.

I had to raise myself and while I don't feel my mother is a bad person she and I have a hard relationship. We are now better because I am about it be 21 and we live 1000 miles away, but she never went to big parties she just lived her life and treated me like her sister. But I come from a generation of self raised children who resent their mothers for not being there and for going out to much. I have a 3 year old stepson who's mother parties and tries to live her life my hope is she will realize she needs to be there... all this is real and does real damage. Kids need their parents, how messed up that kids don't only deal with dead beat dads but dead beat moms too. Yes they have the right to be mad, you do deserve a break but once in a blue moon not everyweek, if you wanted that then you should not have had kids. They just want to be loved and by the sounds of it you don't care. Its sad but just wait till your daughter is pregnant and doesn't tell you or your son gets married and you never met the girl... then you will regret not being as close to your kids as you could have.

You need to evaluate your decisions. A 15 and 13 year old are NOT adults, not developmentally, and not in the eyes of the law. Taking time for yourself "once in a while" is one thing-- neglecting your responsibilities as a parent on a regular basis to "go out to big parties" is another. You say you "especially hate" your daughter, and think it's appropriate to call her names over the internet? That says something. It isn't your daughter's fault that you're feeling resentful toward your children, and it's certainly not her fault for being angry for being left by herself. Your two eldest children probably pick up a lot more slack than you know, as far as taking care of the younger kids when you aren't home.

I would advise you to see a counselor, someone who can help you handle the pressure you're under. You owe it to yourself, and your children, to reach out for help. There is no shame in doing so!

Yes it does sound like your are a bad mother, calling your child a B**** is horrible. It's more than just feeding them, you have to show them you love them and care for them and give them attention and spend time for them. You have 5 kids so you have to make sure you give each one the love and attention they need and it's not too late to change that.

I'm telling you if you don't change now, your daughter will probably end up being a prostitute or probably end up in an abusive relationship with a guy, that is what neglect does to a child. your sons will probably end up abusing some girl or end up in jail or in a gang or even killed because that is what neglect does. Do you want that for your children? If not I suggest you start thinking about your kids more and not about yourself.

Wow your such a wonderful caring mother,NOT!!! How can you say you HATE your daughter? The children behave the way YOU taught them. By your words and actions. Don't complain about having them and being responsible for them until they are ADULTS. NO ONE forced you to lay down and have unprotected sex. That was your choice. The kids didn't ask to be born. It is your responsibility to be there for your kids. To cook for them,help with homework, teach them by example. The only thing your teaching them is to lay down have a bunch of babies and shirk the responsibility of raising them. Real nice of you. Your a very selfish woman. I can understand that we all need time for ourselves. We deserve to go out and have fun. It is wrong if it is done at the expense of your children. I also agree that once in awhile it is fine to order out. If you are only going out once a month and the kids are left in the care of a mature and responsible person, that is completely fine. Why aren't you having dinner with your family before you go out? Most clubs don't start hopping until ten. You could easily have dinner, put the younger ones in bed, spend quality time with the older ones, and then go out. I hope that when your kids grow up and have children of their own, they are nothing like you. Your kids deserve better then what your giving them. I have four grown children now. I enjoyed going out once in awhile and socializing. I however made sure that we ate dinner every night as a family. I spent quaility time with all of them before I went out. They were left with a mature,responsible adult. You had a choice to be a mom at a young age {20}, don't make your kids suffer because you now wish you could turn back time.

You had five children, and whether they have different fathers or not, you are all one family, and if your younger kids are being fed by THEIR Dad, why isn't he feeding the older ones as well?

We also have a "blended family" and I would be horrified if my husband fed HIS kids, but didn't feed MINE!

How difficult is it to leave food ready for them when you go out? I often used to leave a casserole in the oven when I had to go out to work when we had 4 teenagers at home, so I knew they never went hungry - it isn't difficult to make a pot of stew, or Chili or a casserole with chicken and noodles.

And what has it got to do with your kids that you are having a meltdown - you still have to care for your children, feed them, be there to nurture them.

We have 5 kids and I have yet to go out to parties - when I go out it is either to go to work or to take a night class - you are making excuses - taking care of your family is the Number One Priority - going out to parties is way down on the list. If you need help, get help from people, but do not neglect your kids - you need to listen to your children, they are telling you how they feel.

Its ok to go out and have fun as long as it is just once in a while. I hope that you are not leaving the 2 older ones to take care of the 3 younger ones. That wouldn't be right, it was your choice to have 5 kids you are the one who needs to deal with it.

You are a bad mother by the sound of it. You know you are doing something wrong when your kids tell you you're a bad mom and they quit speaking to you. Do you leave the 4 and 5 yr old alone with the older two when you go party? You're making them take responsibility for your problems. You sound like a very selfish woman. I hope you got your tubes tied.

Yes, you need a break every now and then, but when all is said and done your kids should come first. Of course it's not easy taking care of 5 kids, but that's what you have to do - they're your kids, you gave birth to them, they are your responsibility. If they feel like this, then you need to take a good long look at what you're doing.

well first you shouldnt call your daughter a b*****. shes your daughter and shes 15 shes not going to be the nicest. try talking to her when she seems to not be so moody. Tell her how hard this is for you and how it really hurts you when she screams at you and how stressful life is at this time. it'll make her feel a little guilty for always being rude and she might even start helping out more! just try talking to your older kids but one on one not with them together. Going to parties and going out all the time isnt really the way to relieve any of your stress while you have free time. try taking a yoga class or a dance class. you might think what? thats something i would never do and its just not me. you can find cheap yoga classes at a YMCA family gym or at a 24 hour gym. The YMCA may be a little pricey but i have one in my town and they have a teen center where your teens/pre teens can go for free with their membership and they play games watch movies etc. theres also and place where they take care of children. theres a pool and just so many things to do. try doing things where your kids can come along too just liek at the Y. plus yoga classes will help releive stress and make you feel better plus youll meet many new people. and having a home cooked meal and sitting with your kids and having dinner is always best even if you feel you dont have time there are simple things you can make like casseroles which are fast and easy try cooking with your kids kids love to cook just wash their hands and let them sprinkle cheese mix etc. youll spend time together and things will get done faster! hope i help and remember your kids should be the most important to you and there are plenty of ways to have fun with your kids. especially your young ones they are still growing up and they really need guidance from you and need to spend quality time with their parents

i don't know what to say! other than your kids should come FIRST!! i know my daughter comes first in my life! and how can u call your daughter a b****! it just shows that you don't give her no attention and that you are shutting her out of your life! your shutting all 5 of your kids out of your life! and by the sound of you describing yourself about going out to parties, its like your saying that you order out every night and then head out to some party! my daughter is 2 years old and since i had her i only went out once for my cousins birthday! i have a sister-in-law similar to you! and she lost her kids! and now shes trying to get her kids back, but haven't had any success so far! and next thing you know the same thing is going to happen to you.. and i agree with another person here I HOPE YOU GOT YOUR TUBES TIED!