What is family to you?

Interesting Question.......... Speaking for myself only, The word " Family" Doesn't mean anything... As far as I am concerned , I never had a family , nor do I have one now. Instead, I use the word " Solo" ..ie... Alone, By My Self, Just me.

I was given up for adoption the day I was born, So I am guessing that I wasn't wanted by my birth parents, And I never really fit in with my adopted parents either..... My adopted Mom was a good person, And she had a big heart, But unfortunately she died at the age of 41 when I was 16 yrs old, Shortly after her death my adopted Dad kicked me out of the house, Just because he didn't want to deal with me anymore, So since the age of 16 I have been on my own! The only person that has ever looked out for me , Is me. This is all I know.

Today is Memorial Day, Every one is with their families , having bbqs and having a good time, And here I sit answering your question...... yeah I know, Its pretty pathetic..... But, What are you going to do.......

To answer your question..... The word "Family" doesn't mean anything to me.......

Love Few, Hate Many,Trust No One....

My family is my adopted family. they are the person who took me out of that orphanage, and saved my life from being in there. since i don't remember my real family, i don't consider people who might even be dead, all the way in Ukraine as family... i don't feel like i have 4 parents, only 1. well, that's because the woman who adopted me isn't married... so i only apparently have 3 parents.. to biological and 1 not... Although i still do miss and want to meet my real mom a lot...

ok family to me is not about hurting anyone ,now what i mean is i have been told that i am adopted a family adoption ie my uncle is my dad no not incest his sister is my mother now as it happens i only have 1 sibling left as the rest died young. Yes i am curious however i would not hurt my sibling by asking for dna and as for my cousins who would then be my sisters i have no wish to hurt them either >This is for Matt who posted on this subject Matt i was like you and could never understand why noe i think i know why i always felt different.Im sending you a big (((((hug))))) please accept it, as for your birth mother not wanting you , you cant be sure of this my husband was adopted i found his birth mother a few years ago it turns out she was 14 when she had him and she had no say.

If you feel that you have four parents--doesn't that make them family to each other as well? Why or why not?

No, because they are not in legal or blood relation to each other. *I* (at the very least) have a legal relationship with my mom and dad, and *I* have a biological relationship with my mother and father. My adoptive parents and bio parents do not have a legal or blood connection. They do not have a relationship with *each other.*

I always think people are compartmentalizing or are in avoidance when they say their adoptive parents and biological parents have nothing to do with each other or they purposefully keep them seperate.

Well... mine don't have anything to do with each other. Take a woman who only speaks English and who adopted her child, and take a woman who only speaks Chinese and who birthed the child that the English-speaking woman adopted.

What do they have in common? Me. That's it. They don't have the same culture, they don't speak the same language, they have no way of "connecting." They live in different timezones and on opposite points of the globe! What relationship is there? How can a relationship form when neither speaks the other's language and they live in opposite countries?

So yes, my adoptive parents have nothing to do with my bio parents.

Why would someone feel it is important to do that?

For the adoptee's equilibrium.

For me I'm not sure what family is. I'm very differant to my adoptive family and therefor I don't feel as if we get on as well as my friends and their families. I do feel as if I have to families but I don't know one of them, My actual family. I wonder if one day I will find out more about them but for now knowing I am a part of their family is enough. I have my adoptive family and I think as far as they know they're my only family but in my head I don't really count them. They're just people who raised me.

In terms of adoption the way I look at it is this: My daughter has 4 parents. All of my family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) is her family and all of the bio family is her family. Her bio family does not belong to me. Instead they are friends who I care about very much because they are my daughter's family.

My answer to family is, someone that you care about deeply. They don't even have to be blood related. I thought of my step family as family for the longest time. and even though my mother and my step father got a divorce, I still think of them as family.

and it might be a jealous thing. Because I know a couple people that are adopted, they keep there biological mother away from their adoptive mother, because the biological mother might get upset that, for what ever reason, gave the child up, and might get jealous of the adoptive mother. Because the biological mother wasn't there when the adoptive mother was.

Don't feel that a person can only love thier birth parents. If you've been adopted, its usually for a good reason and your adoptive parents have always shown you love and care. Its not the person's REAL parents who are more important its the ones who care most and you feel safer around, and if that is your real parents thats OK.

You only have one family. Its just hard finding out who that is.

I consider some people part of my family who I have no legal or bio tie to. There is a lady that I know from church that is so dear that I consider her a second mother and my children call her Grandma. So yes, I consider bio and adopted and in laws part of my family but I also consider those friend who I love and care about part of my family as well

My definition of family is like "most" people's definition of family. I do consider my adoptive parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents to be my family, too.....as well as my first family. I don't consider my adoptive parent's dead ancestors to be my family, though, as they are not blood related to me, and I have had no interaction with them. I DO consider my bio family members who are deceased to be my family, because they are blood. I am connected to them through biology.

My bio family and my a family have nothing in common but me. There is no need for them to interact. My ap's have met my bio brothers, but not my bio parents. There is too much pain and too much jealousy to have a "meet the parents" night. As an adult, I do not wish to deal with it...it's THEIR issue, and THEIR problem. Its just not worth the commotion. Ive dealt with everyone else's pain regarding my adoption my entire life...Im not going to add more.

I feel that ap's who wish to interact with their adoptive child's first parents are only doing it because they want control....and that would be my ap's, too. There's no need for it. My ap's adopted ME- not my bio family.