Any1 had a mid-life crisis?

Oh my! No! You don't need counseling. I've been where you are. Probably still am. I can really identify with the religious part.

You're 'encouraged to be a 'good girl' and to stay in the lines, follow all the rules. And yes, you're smart not to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

When religion is used to control ppl and not to learn a confidence building relationship with God where questions are encouraged, it's not Gods fault.

It's the fault of the ppl who gave you their picture of religion. Ppl interpet

the Bible and not usually coreectly. That's why anytime someone says, 'it's this way!' We better be suspicious.

I don't think you're going through a 'mid life ' crisis exactly, just getting to the age where you realize your life may not go on forever and you need to start thinking for youself. It's very hard, especially for us 'pleasers' to go off the path we were taught.

And if you go a little bit nuts to the other extreme, I see nothing wrong with that either. I mean your hair, jewelry, clothes, ect. You go girl!

When we focus completely on our children, they can get the mistaken idea that we live for them. To make life easier for them. Not.

For one thing that's not good for them. When they grow up and get out in the world it'll be a shock that ppl out there are not protecting and helping and loveing them like mom or dad did.

And it's not good for you. In two more years your son will be a legal adult. You need to have your own life, your own friends, your own style, your own thoughts!

Good parenting will help your son be ready for the world. Be prepared for making a living, thinking on his own, getting himself out of trouble. Backing off from doing things for him is the best for him.

I wish you luck and blessings as you start to make your own decisions and learn your own style and study for yourself about God. I hope that you can find a way to get the cosmetology education you want. What a great example for your son! Happy adulthood!

Mine started when my kid turned 13 & lasted until they hit 25 & came into their sense of self. Now I'm stuck in a rut of semi-boredom. I happen to be from the school of thought that anyone who doesn't want to give their all for their children just shouldn't have them to begin with! The kid is pushing 32 & they finally have a solid career with the government & although I couldn't ever do what they do - I support their lifestyle because I love them unconditionally.

Some women can benefit from hormone replace therapy (HRT). If you have no cancer in your family history, I suggest you speak to your doctor about it. Menopause is still kicking my butt & I've had it since 2000. I NEVER could have done it with a 16 year old to care for. I would most likely have been the one to run away & hide.

Sometimes counseling is good for understanding ones own confusion. Then again, it can add to a person's confusion & complicate life when you need it least. If you are religious, then why not ask someone in your church for help? I'm not a follower, so I don't know how to advise you with this end of your question. I've also never had surgery.

I tried going to school with a teenager & it just was a morbid waste of time & energy because that's when my kid really needed extra supervision from an adult & they weren't getting it when I was gone @ school, work & trying to do my studying. I'd hold off until they graduate if you possibly can. Only YOU know what you can handle & how much you can take on in your life.

We all judge others by their appearance--it's just human nature. I'm going to have a better opinion of a person who's clean and neat looking than I am of a person who's dirty and unkempt. As far as fashion goes, I think women are more judgemental. I've never heard a man criticize someone's fashion sense. But women will. I'm in my 50's and I would feel very awkward dressing like someone in their 20's. The last time I wore short dresses and skirts was in my late 30's. I think as long as a woman doesn't look STUPID, she can dress in a young way--it depends on the woman really. I think older women who dress inappropriately might do it out of habit--"This is the way I've always dressed" or they might be having a mid-life crisis or might be cougars on the prowl. I used to go to a neighborhood bar in my 30's and there was always a woman there that was in her 50's with the most spectacular boobs that she showed off to maximum advantage, and she always annoyed me for some reason. I guess I thought she should be dressing her age or maybe I was even jealous. She attracted men of all ages and I didn't think her pretty face-wise at all.

Sounds like freedom from a restrictive religion = kid free from restrictive parents.

You need to get grounded in a mainstream more liberal religion. I say this because you have been dependent on the restrictive religion for long enough that you still need guidance. Just don't pick some off the wall nut job who calls himself a preacher which is why I suggested mainstream. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing, just settle down and make a realistic and practical plan for your goals.

The really, really important thing right now is investing some time in your 16 year old. In two more years he will be an adult. You have so little time to help him become the man you want him to be. You invested 16 years, don't flake out on him now.

If it was not my husband who is disabled, I would do the same thing. I can sympthize with you on the level of the menopause bit because I had that early on also (surgery). I am glad I did it, though, because someone I know did not do it and has had multiple polyps removed from her uterus, and she is the same age as am I.

I also quit attending church because of the way they were throwing people out and saying they were not really Christians. Not me, but someone who had a SS class with me.

Everyone needs a change now and then.

Your 16-year-old does not appreciate anything because of his age. He will appreciate it later in life. Just take care of him until he reaches the time to leave the nest because he is too young to be on his own, though he could work. I worked when I was 15 and still in school.

I just turned 60 and am in the middle of my (late) mid-life crisis. I realized it is time I take care of myself for a change and it has not been easy for me to let go. You sound like you have a lot to look forward to and I encourage you to go for it. I got my college degree and teaching credentials in my late 40's. It was later than most people finish school but it was a dream I had for a long time.

I understand your fear of driving. I lost my best friend in a car accident and I was very nervous about driving for a long time so I understand your fear.

Find someone who you trust and is very patient. Driving will become 2nd nature but don't expect that to happen over night. Just like any other new skill it will take practice until you are comfortable doing it. I used to be scared to drive in the snow until I moved to the mountains. I realized that if I wasn't able to get around in the snow I would be stuck at home until Spring.

Good luck with your new lifestyle. I wish you the very best.

I had (sort of) a midlife crisis at age 40, I guess. I had a 27 year old boyfriend for about a year and we really enjoyed our time together. Does that count?

I don't think you're in a mid life crisis, though. It sounds like you're just realizing there's more to life and you're ready for it.

I don't believe God wants you to forgo things like makeup and haircuts. He loves us no matter how we look, right? And it makes you feel better about yourself.

Go to the cosmetology school! Check it out; there may be another student nearby that you can share rides with. Or maybe there's another school closer. Don't give up your dream.

And hey, antiques are cool!

As for your son, well, 16 year olds pretty much freeze out their parents at that age. He's just being a boy, becoming a man. He really does love you. He's just a kid, remember? Talk to him about getting a summer job. Especially if he wants a car, or to drive yours. Tell him things like insurance, gas and maintenance all cost money. That worked for my boys; they got jobs as fast as they could so they could enjoy the privilege of driving.

Best of luck!

The one thing that bothers me about your post is that your only mention of your 16 year old is that he doesn't appreciate you. I hate to tell you, but most 16 year olds are pretty self-absorbed as they try to find their way to independence in the world. There's nothing wrong with you improving yourself, and your kid might be just fine; however, a parent's first responsibility is to raise the kids until it's time for them to leave the nest. If your self-improvement interferes with this, then I think you might need to step back and re-examine things. I don't know of a single parent who doesn't feel unappreciated at times; that's just part of the deal.

It sounds to me more like you're having the adolescent rebellion that you couldn't -- for whatever reason (and a repressive religion would be a big one!) -- do as a teenager.

In the meantime, however, you still have a child for whom you are responsible whether or not he appreciates your effort. Aren't you legally responsible for him until he reaches 18 (and hopefully has at least a high school diploma)?

You can still dress and do your hair and make up as you wish without turning your back on your parental obligations.

My whole life has been nothing but one, big crisis. I doubt I'd know how to live any other way.