Gay-friendly men, how do you feel about the way homophobic men treat gay men?

As a person who has been bullied in the past, I can relate to being harassed for really no other reason than for being what I am. Which is why I'm very supportive of the homosexual community. I don't really care a person's personal beliefs on what is right or wrong, but when one takes it upon himself to speak negatively towards a person or harass them for being themselves, then I do have problem.

I'm very comfortable with my sexuality. I have gay and lesbian friends... and I just returned from having participated in the Seattle Pride Festival today :)

I would stick up for that person, or at the very least get help...

I'm a straight acting gay man so I suppose that still counts as gay friendly.

When I bump into homophobic people in bars or at community events all of their opinions on the matter seem to change when I tell them the news that im Queer. Usually at the end of it you even get a few gay friendly jokes being told your way.

Most homophobes have never met a gay man apart from seeing the odd drag queen on the television or in the newspaper for another case of celebrity HIV. I honestly believe the amount of people that have a real phobia of homosexuals is a very small number indeed. It's just a society that we live in has hazed this topic and made homophobia a trend set rather than a belief system.

I'm sure they're enthusiastic about it. Look, I've got to say a few things. And you're not going to like them.

1) 'any way, shape or form' ? Are you familiar with Williams Syndrome ? It's a genetic disorder that makes people NOT racist. Look, if you can look at a gay man or a black man or a Muslim and NOT notice that they're gay, black or Muslim, great. You're a mutant. But for the rest of us, our brains don't pick and choose. Stuff goes into your brain and it's there to stay. Now, you may try to outweigh it with constant vigilance, but it's still there. You may think you're completely free of the thoughts that you dissapprove of, but if you really examine your thoughts, you'll find the stuff you're not so proud of. Anti-gay bigots have the same problem: if they look at their feelings enough, they'll find gay feelings there. We're not at a restaraunt with a menu where we get to pick exactly what we'll have. We eat what we get.

2) Unless you want to be called 'heterophobic' for the next 20 years, I suggest you stop trying to hijack language to serve your purposes. It's not a 'phobia'. It's just a form of prejudice. Are you 'Replubliphobic' ? Are you Naziphobic ? If they're phobic, then they deserve our sympathy for their debilitating psychological condition that they have no control over.

3) ok, this bit might not offend you. A negative light on men in general ? Well, I would hope not since they're attracted to men. Stick up for the gay man if he were being persecuted ? I would say not-it's not a 'screw him, he's gay' thing but more a 'cover my own ***' thing.I don't like to talk tough on the web, makes me feel ... cheap somehow. But sometimes I surprise myself. I don't like to see people outnumbered or picked on. It brings out the big brother in me.

It's almost homoerotic. Homophobic men seem to be under the impression that every homosexual man they encounter wants to have sex with them.

Sure, I'd say it sheds a negative light on men, but no more than it does on homophobic women encountering lesbians. It's all a big misunderstanding that they need to get over.

Personally, I wouldn't stand up against a man harassing or attacking a gay man because I'd probably be beaten up myself, or worse. I'd call the cops.

I'm gay, so obviously homophobia is an annoyance. I've never understood why someone would dislike/hate someone simply because they're attracted to the same gender. I mean, what I do with my love-life is my business..I fail to see how it affects anyone else.

..but..everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

My main problem is when they take their homophobia beyond opinion and into hateful acts. I'm not too fond of them trying to limit our rights either.

So in general, I dislike homophobia for obvious reasons..but I try to ignore it. I'd say many people these days (especially of the younger generation) though, are far more accepting toward homosexuals. So for that I'm grateful.

I dont know how you define " homophobic"

That definition goes many ways from the overtly bigoted to a moniker that is used to trivialize those that do not agree with the lifestyle.

What someone does in the privacy of their own bedrooms is none of my business and I make no judgment upon it.

When someone throws a "Morton's Fork" in my face and implies that if I disagree with their POV, then I must be a homophobe or bigot, I have no choice but to take umbrage with what they claim.

Homophobic denotes one FEARS, when in reality someone DISAGREES, so answering your question correctly depends on how you define homophobic.....

I've gone past the stage of getting angry about it. I just consider it sad that in the 21st century people still judge others over their sexuality, and worse in cases of religion, consider it a sin of some kind and relate it to evil.

It is weak that if one doesnt agree with homosexuality they must be "afraid" or closeted.

What a brilliant, open-minded way of viewing people with different beliefs.

Cough::hypocritical::cough!

This doesnt belong in R&S. Im just sayin.

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"Some of these people ARE afraid to be around LGBT people you know."

...You are totally right. And I remember being in high school where some of my guy friends said HORRIBLE things about gay people. It was disgusting to me, and I told them. I am not afraid of gay people, someones sexuality really isnt interesting enough to bring out "fear" in me. They are just attracted in ways I dont personally connect with. So what? I dont care that much about heterosexual people's sex lives either. I do care about the truth and what I believe is moral and virtuous. That does not equate fear. I STILL stand up for people that are being disrespected by others, regardless of who they sleep with. I just take issue with my personal convictions being written off as "closeted fear".

Homophobia is a negative for humanity and our society in general, not just men. People are conditioned to believe homosexuality is unnatural, they don't randomly dream it up. I have defended my friends and would not hesitate to do so again.

I'd hazard a guess that most of them are closeted?

Look at the most outspoken politicians and evangelists screaming against homosexuality. Many of them are eventually observed in unexpected dalliances.