neighbours complaining about son crying. Help!?

Firstly, Maria - shut up. You have no clue what you're talking about and it shows in your attitude.

Cat - my son also goes to bed at 7pm because he's yawning his head off and getting grizzly/tired. He also has two naps during the day. He wakes around 5:30am and I give him his dummy (pacifier) and his teddy and he goes back off until about 8:30am.

These people next door to you are ignorant, plain and simple. You're not deliberately making noise and you're not making malicious noise, however THEY are. Are you in the UK? I would suggect contacting your local council about it, even if you're not a council tenant. They have processes in place for these sorts of things. Keep a diary of when they are banging, how long for, note down the time, etc. If you get any abuse from them, write that down too. Give the diary sheets to the council, they will be able to investigate and intervene - see how clever your neighbours think they are then.

What they are doing is harrassment and they're making the problem worse because they're stressing you out, which your son will be picking up on, plus the changes you've made to try and keep him from crying will be disrupting his routine. Which is all their fault, not yours. They sound like vile, awful people.

Ignore Maria, she doesn't know what she is taking about and probably doesn't have any kids or else they are perfect.

Children need as much sleep as possible in order to develop well. My grandson sleeps 7pm till 6am and then has a nap after a couple of hours too.

You can't stop him crying out when he wakes up, though you shouldn't let him do it too long and I'm sure you aren't, it sounds like the neighbours just don't get it. The walls must be too thin and he's just doing what kids do. As long as he isn't yelling for more than 5 minutes then I don't see it as a problem at all and they will just have to live with it till he grows out of it, you're not breaking any laws. If he yelled all the time I've no doubt they'd try to complain to the authorities, but they know they can't do that as you aren't doing it that long! Kids will be kids and unfortunately, they are very clever and will work out what upsets you to get what they want. Don't let your son figure this out, try and find a way to quieten him without letting him know it is bothering you. Perhaps a little snack or something to play with to get him to quieten down quicker?

It seems to me that you can't be a bad mum or you wouldn't be writing all this.

In cases where he is upset and won't go to sleep, I'd sit with him while he drops off and read books or sing to him (if the neighbours don't complain about that too.) My daughter finds that sitting with her hand on his back helps him to drop off, because he knows that she's there. Sometimes he just gets overtired and doesn't want to be on his own and it can take up to half an hour, but it does work.

Wow, this woman sounds like a right nasty piece of work! I would carry on exactly how you are! What your neighbours dont realise is that the more they bang on the wall the second your boy wakes up, and the more you go to him the second he begins to cry, the worse it is going to get. They have actually made the situation worse for themselves.

I understand that a crying baby is not exactly the best way to wake up when its not your own....but 6.30am is not an unreasonable hour. And this is a BABY we are talking about. Her precious little daughter should probably move out anyway being that shes TWENTY THREE! What a joke! I myself am 23, with a little boy around your age. If anyone started giving me this I would tell them where to go!

I would calmly and politely inform them that what they are doing is actually aggravating the situation. Firstly when they bang on the wall your little one has no chance of settling himself down as he probably finds this scary. Secondly because they are pressuring you to go to him the second he begins to cry they are actually forcing you to create a clingy baby who cannot settle himself. Inform them firmly that you are going to try a new technique where they DO NOT bang, and where you do not go to him straight away. And that they will have to put up with that for a while.

Things you can try:

* Blackout curtains - as soon as the sun comes up your boy will naturally awaken....This is what the pituatry gland is for! (mind the spelling!)

* Have a bottle made in the fridge the night before (or tippy cup if he uses that instead), warm it when he wakes up, give it him in his cot, and go back to bed for an hour

* If the cot sides are still up, baby safe his room, place out some toys and lower the cot side. Give him his bottle, and when hes finished it he may well hop out of his cot and play with his toys for half an hour - works a treat with my 18 month year old. Or alternatively if you dont want to put the sides down just yet, when you give him his morning milk, place him on a soft blanket on his bedroom floor so when hes finished he can get up and play of his own accord.

This may take a while if your son isnt used to playing alone in his bedroom...but eventually he will learn to entertain himself! Then at 7.30 - 8.00 you can bring him down and give him his breakfast.

Really hope this works!

how dare that women why is her 23 year old and her husband living there any way and they should move rooms if she feels in your buissness enough to tell you how to raise your children then i would feel free to tell her to move her daughters room dont u dare let her make you feel like a bad mother you are not i would bang back on the wall let the child cry to soothe himself back to sleep that works for many many people and ignore her she cant do anything to you just keep your fingers crossed the daughter moves out but in the meantime maybe try a soothing sounds type of cd switch it on in the mornigs so baby can go back to sleep and maybe the music will drowned out the loud cries of baby so your neighbor shuts her big mouth doesnt the daughter have a job shouldnt she be getting up for work at 6 any way tell her god blessed her to live next to a natural alarm clock hahaha

I feel your pain. I have lived in NYC with my 15 month old for the last couple of months and I am also dealing with apartment neighbor issues. Unfortunately, it sounds like the situation has gone too far to be friendly anymore, but it might be worth a try again to kill her with kindness. My neighbor downstairs was writing notes and slipping them under our door about my son dropping things on the floor. I went to her door and talked to her about it. I explained the situation and told her I would try to do my best. I think she did not want to confront me so by me going to her door she stopped complaining to me.

Another thing to look into is the zoning laws in your area. Many towns will have noise laws. Many apartment building will also have something individual. If you are aware of this you can explain then to her and tell her that you are not braking any laws, but you will try your best to accommodate her needs.

You can't help that your kid cries. He's a baby. That's what they do. Your neighbor is being utterly unreasonable, rude and downright insulting.

I, personally, wouldn't stand for that kind of crap. You can't keep a baby from crying ever, but they are adults and as such can control their behavior. I would keep records of their daughters banging and report it to the police and tell them that THEY are disturbing YOU. Maybe that'll shut them up.

My heart goes out to you, it seems that you have a very none understanding neighbour.

I'm sure you are not a bad mum, but the children so young do make a noise, it's normal.

Although very difficult, please try to ignore the neighbours, you have done your best, even explained to your neighbour, but they seem to have ignored your comments.

If they were my neighbours, and I was in your situation, I would be tempted to suggest they invest in some earplugs!

Hope things go well for you, take care.

I can't really offer advice on how to help him sleep and quiet down, but I can say you should really just tell your neighbors to stuff it. He's a baby for crying out loud, he's going to scream and shout and cry. And if they don't like it, they can piss off and not be such dicks about it.

Sorry for sounding rude, but stupid people really irk me.

Really just tell them to deal with it. He's a baby, you can't magically make him not cry anymore. It's not physically possible to de-cry a baby. Your neighbors just have sandy vaginas and need some vagisil.

You remain and read a publication and the people unfold for the reason that vast landscaping which is your brain and creativity and the scope is hundreds, a huge selection of times greater than the miserable TV world practically

I don't think t.v. is a waste products of their time, it's that I see no real use of computer nowadays and there is nothing educational or rewarding on now. Children of today face 'entertainment' that is just plain ridiculous and does not have any morale meaning in it