international adoption vs foster adoption?

We did a lot of research into foster adoptions in our state. That research led us to make the decision to adopt internationally. We didn't adopt a baby, we adopted two school age siblings. And they needed us "right now".

I just don't get why people seem to think that foster children who need help "right now" are more deserving of that help than children from another country who also need help "right now."

ETA: My children never played in sports or had sleepovers in their home country. Their entire world was a walled compound in which they lived for years and almost NEVER left. Their basic nutritional needs were not met: not even clean water was available to them, let alone things higher on Maslow's Hierarchy.. like having an education, access to healthcare, let alone someone to give them one-on-one attention.

International Vs Domestic Adoption

Why not just be glad that they adopt? If you want to be angry, be angry with the parents who flood the system with abused and neglected kids in the first place. I'm really getting over the adoptive parent bashing on this board. There is nothing wrong with people wanting to be with their child for as much of their life as possible and fostering to adopt an infant is just not usual. Nor should it be. Foster care has one prime goal; reunification with bio family. That process is long and fraught with heartache and risks. I'm willing to do it, but I don't fault anyone who isn't.

Well, we lived abroad for 3 years and I volunteered at the same orphanage quite a few times. I loved the children I spent time with. I developed relationships with them and if I could, I would adopt them all. And so, for me it is nothing more than a choice of the heart.

We began our adoption process in the United States where we live and were told that gay families are not allowed to adopt in our state. My husband and I are not gay, but he was raised by two women living as loving partners. We refused to sign papers that would basically remove our children from any relationship with their grandparents. Additionally, my husband felt that signing the contract would be a hurtful message to his parents--basically agreeing that they should have no right to be parents.

As a part of our adoption process, we moved out of country for several months and adopted from the state system in that country. We adopted a sibling group of three older children taken from their first family because of abuse.

I'm sorry that my decision "hurts you to the core," but my children did need us and moreover the country *wanted* us. However, the state in which we currently reside decided that the children here didn't need or want us because of the shame of having gay grandparents. Incidentally, my children are not ashamed, they are happy and love their gay grandmothers. It should hurt you that children are kept in the US foster system for such silly reasons.

Why no longer basically be happy that they undertake? in case you prefer to be indignant, be indignant with the dad and mom who flood the equipment with abused and neglected young toddlers interior the 1st place. i'm fairly getting over the adoptive determine bashing in this board. there isn't any longer something incorrect with people eager to be with their toddler for as lots of their existence as achievable and fostering to undertake an toddler is probably no longer uncomplicated. Nor ought to it is. Foster care has one best purpose; reunification with bio relatives. That technique is long and fraught with heartache and hazards. i'm keen to do it, yet i do no longer fault every physique who isn't.

When I tried to adopt through foster care our DCF social worker told us that adoption was wrong and that even though she'd put us on the list, if we were honest and good people we would be satisfied staying foster parents. Our social worker worked with these kids every day and she kept assuring us that adoption from foster care was selfish and was really breaking up families. She said the kids she worked with wanted nothing but to go back home or to extended family no matter how long it took. What really disturbed us was that she told us the governor had been putting pressure on them to terminate more parents' rights because our state was one of the lowest on the list for adoption from foster care. They were being pressured to make more children available for adoption.

Our social worker suggested we look overseas if we wanted to adopt children who really needed homes. We adopted older siblings overseas. And yes, they did need us right now, just as much as kids here. Their mother died of AIDs and their father was very ill with it too. When we met him he had finally gotten access to meds, but they weren't working. He has since died.

P.S. We didn't spend any money on our adoption. It wasn't that expensive to begin with and the adoption tax credit paid for all of it.

edited to add: The foster kids you know will be going to school, playing sports, and attending sleepovers... my kids didn't have any of that at the orphanage. There was a forty by forty courtyard filled with dust and flies and no shade. They did have soccer balls but it seemed no one had the heart to play. There was no schooling for the children. The sanitation was horrible, the children got minimal health care. There was no counselling and there were plenty of kids like mine who'd watched a parent die. Yeah, I would have paid to take them out of there. I give money to the women&children shelter here in my town, and I sponsor families overseas. The need is so great both here and abroad that I find it hard, and kind of pointless, to argue for who is most in need. (Not that I'm saying that's what you were doing, just in general)

Well, since you ended your question with "God Bless" I'll ask, does God want us to look after others or look after others as long as they are in our own country?

We've done both international and domestic foster care adoptions. Not because it is trendy or is saving the world but because the opportunities presented themselves. We are all citizens of the world and I'm not one to get tied to political boundaries set by man when there are people, not Americans, not Canadians, Not Dutch....but people out there in the form of kids who need homes.

Some people only want newborns or infants.

Some people only want children whose parents are going to be far enough away that they don't come back to bother them.

Some want a trendy adoption.

I assume that people aren't viewing adoption for what it is: Finding a home for a child in need. They view it as: Finding the child who they want to fit into their lives, not the other way around.

Not everyone does this. Lord knows that some people do things the right way. I've just seen more than a few come around wanting ONLY a baby, and actually say they won't adopt from foster care because they feel the children are too flawed. Instead of trying to help them overcome, they'd rather them just stay in care, I guess.

Maybe, but I'm not fully convinced