Relationship struggles over money?

If you are not married, you can just have him leave if he is not on the lease.

Peace.

Somebody needs to put their foot down here...or you'll be struggling forever like this. If he smokes he needs to support his own habit instead of taking away from the household income to satisfy his selfish habit...

You are going to be in trouble with this for a looong time if you dont make some serious changes now...he will most likely never hold a job consistantly and this will always be an issue. So you need to figure out how your family can live on your income and dont include any of his habits in the budget, let him know he needs to go hustle for his cig money or he wont be smoking because the babies need to eat! If you can make up a budget you should and stick to it...and if I were you, I'd set aside a few dollars a pay check somewhere safe and sound so when and if the time comes, you can leave this lazy selfish man who will leach off of you for as long as you let him....seriously, his lazy habits arent going to change anytime soon, you should prepare for that. Never let a man know about all the money that you have so that you can set some aside for "just in case" stuff.

Try cutting back on your lifestyle. Downsize. Lay off the credit cards. Create a budget and live on less. You will be surprised how much waste an even poor household has.

Ever consider financial aide? Can he apply for public assistance?

I suggest separating checking and savings accounts. If he wants to pay for cigs, he will have to work and pay for it out of his account. You top priority is keeping the house running and do what you can to make a budget that works for your house and kids. Let your husband work for extra things.

Point at the door and tell him to get the hell out. Problem solved.