How do you tell someone that their recent hire is not good and not make it sound like sour grapes?

First, make sure you aren't saying it because you and your wife are upset that she didn't get the job. If that's not the case, then tell the pastor that the person has areas that they need to improve in and explain what the person doesn't seem to be getting. Tell the pastor that you are willing to help the person to improve. If you put it like that, he won't be as likely to view it as you being a sour grape. If things don't improve even after that, just tell the pastor.

I would say the best way to get your point across would be to put it in writing. You can make the letter sound friendly yet direct and to-the-point at the same time. Explain in detail why the new hire is not qualified for the position. But I wouldn't bash the guy throughout the whole letter-that is unprofessional. For example, you could say something like.... "Although Mr. Director does have the "clean slate" you are looking for, his work with _____ really needs improvement." After you make your point about the new hire, you could maybe take a paragraph and explain why you and your wife are better qualified for the job, and explain what you can offer the church.

If you approach your pastor directly and in-person, it may become very awkward and you may find yourself at a loss for words. You could also suggest in your letter that you would be willing to meet with him in person to further discuss the issue.

I have used letter-writing as an approach to issues that come up and it has proved effective every time. You just need to write a friendly, direct, yet concise letter. If your pastor does not respond to your concerns, at least you have proof via the letter that you did in fact try to contact him. Yes, he is your pastor. But it sounds like at this point he is serving as your employer, or potential employer, as well.

How do you know this woman has no clue? Did you ever think the pastor may want to take a different direction and that's why he hired someone new? Make sure you are looking at this from all angles before you talk to him about his decision.

You can express your concerns with the pastor. I have worked for churches and in corporate environments. In my experience there is not much difference, people don't like to have their decisions challenged and you probably will have no effect in changing his mind. I have seen pastors make huge mistakes.

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It is sour grapes. Get over it, or join a different church.