My parents won't let me move out of the house because of our religion, what can I do?

Darling, you are a legal adult and your father has no right to compel you to do anything you don't want to do.

Your pastor is right.

Your father's threats are meaningless. He has no power to carry them out. If he drags you back home, then he has kidnapped you and can go to prison for it. If he tries to punish you physically, it's assault and he can go to prison for it. If he goes for you, call the police. They will back you up.

I'm serious. You are not his possession and you have no need to pay any attention to what he says. You are an adult and are perfectly able to stand on your own two feet. Start doing so.

Pack your clothes and books and walk out of the abusive and backward environment of your parents' house and never look back.

Good luck to you, darling. You can do this.

At 21 you have the legal right to do what you want as an adult. They have no say in this. If you do leave, make sure that you are set up financially and emotionally because you will not likely be able to ask them for help in either way. It is not as easy as saying "I'm an adult and I will do what I want!" because you will be leaving your family, who will not be happy at all with you. Be prepared for all of the fall out. If you are losing your self in a life that you don't want - then yes, go and make the tough choices so that you can be the person that you are ment to be - but do all of the "adult" things that are needed 1st. Get yourself a place, a job, finincal plan etc. You may need to establish credit before anyone will rent you a place. Good luck♥

You seem to be a responsible, independent woman already. You are doing a good job of finding ways to support yourself. Consider your pastor, the dorm, and the scholarship as lifelines. They are there to help you escape from this situation, but if you do not take advantage of these opportunities now, then they will be gone and then you may be stuck with your family for a long time before you have another chance to get away.

I know that having controlling parents is difficult, but they are so strident because they know that their hold on you is tenuous. You are legally an adult now, and if your family does try to bring you back once you leave home, then that's kidnapping. The law is on your side.

Legal issues aside, you may be suffering guilt and uncertainty. Know that there is nothing wrong with making a life for yourself, even if your parents disagree. They have had a chance to decide what to with their lives, including marriage and family. Now it's your turn to make those decisions for yourself.

For now, continue to follow up with your dept. head, the pastor, and the COC organization. Let them know that you're serious about applying for the scholarship and residency in the dorm. Best of luck to you!

You are probably berated or beaten often. This makes you feel horrible and makes you mistrust your own thoughts and decisions. This is wrong. Get help moving away from this situation. A teacher at school will direct you to community services that can help you. So, too, the CofC youth pastor.

You must take a risk trusting people, but do not fully trust anybody and always get an opinion on what you are advised to do. Talk out your concerns with a friend or a cousin or a trusted aunt. Learn to trust yourself and your judgment

You are an adult and your parents no longer have any legal authority over you. Leave, get help from those around you like the youth pastor and don't let your parents intimidate you. I'm sure this is frightening but imagine how frightening it would be to live your whole life by some one else's plans that will make you unhappy. Stand up for yourself now or you may never do it. Good luck.

If you are 18 or over, I suggest you see local law enforcement regarding the threat from your father, and explain that you want to leave but are kept against your will. If you are 18 or older, your parents have no legal right to detain you. But you need a plan for self-maintenance. Speak with the pastor and with a counselor at college.

I gave you the legal aspects and logistics of moving out when you asked in the Parenting section, so here I'll base my answer more around spirituality.

God didn't give us with free will, intelligence and talents just for us to throw them by the wayside so that someone else, who's not God, dictates how that life should be led. God wants us to have a life, led by honesty, goodwill and the willingness to help others and for us to have a relationship with Him. There's is nothing that can stop you (unless you let it) from having life based on those things while incorporating independence and your own aspirations into it. Your school adviser, your friend and your pastor aren't temptations intended to remove you from God. It's God's way of throwing you a bone, by putting people on your path who can help you with and support your decision to free yourself from your oppressive situation.

As for sin, there is nothing sinful about a woman being independent. The inevitable resentment from being forced to marry and honor a man that you don't love, forced to remain solely a home maker will lead to envy and acedia, if not despair. Not to mention that sloth, while mostly commonly thought of as laziness, also references someone not making use of the talents God gave them.

It's your life to live. It's your relationship with God. Removing yourself from a situation that interferes with both will benefit you greatly.

You are fully emancipated and an adult. You are legally free to do whatever you wish. Your parents have no legal authority to stop you.

Now, assuming that you are a Christian, of course you are thinking of "honoring" your parents. It is good to honor your parents, but God does not expect you to conform your life to their will. In fact, God expects you to conform your life to HIS will. Your parents do not know God's will for your life, assuming that they are not the Holy Spirit. It is presumptuous to assume that they can be your Holy Spirit.

You can leave the home environment respectfully. You can honor them by not speaking ill of them and understanding that they genuinely believe that their way is the only right way. However, honoring is not the same as unconditional obedience and conformity to their will.

If you fear being forced or kidnapped or "punished" you may need to get a restraining order. I hope that does not happen.

If they do try to barge in call the police which is legal to do so now, you are 21 and you now have your own rights and your parents can't tell you what to do. I recommend you find another state to study in or get a order against them approaching you. (forgot what its called)

Yes, move far away. And tell the police in your new community that you have been threatened. Now that you've told your parents what you want to do, could they force you to marry in the next few days or weeks? Move soon. Perhaps you could change your name. Change your appearance.