How did you discpline your toddler?

We use a combination of things. I start by telling her "no", or "no touch" or whatever is appropriate to what is going on. The third time she repeats the action I pick her up and redirect her to something else physically. If she returns to the scene of the crime (or repeats the activity), I move her even further into some sort of time out area and let her fuss for about five minutes. She usually doesn't repeat the activity for at least a couple of hours after that - it has worked long term on things like messing with the dog food and pulling breakables off of shelves. We can go to grocery stores and my 16 month old walks along and doesn't try to pull anything off of the shelves.

Tell her no consistantly, meaning every time she does it. Stop her before she does it. Keep telling her no and keep moving her away until you get different results. That could even mean a different look on her face when you tell her, if you really believe that she comprehends nothing. I think this question may be appropriate for a 15 month old where they really are beginning to pass the baby stage (on to the toddler stage). At 21 months old, my daughter by now understood everything I said to her. She was saying lots of things herself. She started using sentances before turning two. You need to communicate with her often, and clearly. Get your point across. Also, at 21 months old you should be where ever she is at all times. It may involve alot of "no"s and stopping her and re directing her, maybe even just sit by the steps and wait for her, but this is part of your job and crucial for raising a well-behaved and intelligent child. It's about time to start thinking of her more as a child. While she is still a baby for some time, she's growing into a child right now and she's going to be lost without you there to direct her, and help her grow.

I never let my daughter have access to crayons, etc., unsupervised, when she was 21 months old. She won't draw on the walls if you have her sit at the kitchen table with you while she draws and you talk to her and supervise her drawing.

Sounds like she's realized she can get a reaction from you when she tosses things down the steps. Perhaps move the play area and toys to the main floor so there's no tossing down the steps. I'd be more concerned about a 21 month old at the top of the steps, unsupervised.. recipe for a disasterous fall. If it's steps to the basement.. close the basement door.

You've clearly raised two other children, you know how to teach (discipline means "to teach"), just do it. Talk to her, interact with her, teach her what to do (focus more energy on teaching her what TO do as opposed to what NOT to do.)

It seems to me, the issues that you raise as problems, are not solved by disciplining.. they are solved, largely, by child proofing and supervising your child. If she were four years old and doing this, it would be a different story. She's not even two.. at this point it's on you, not on her.

I try to use redirection when possible. If not possible, I use time-out. My daughter gets a warning, if she disregards the warning, she goes into time out for 2 minutes. (1 min. per her age) If she gets up from time-out before her time is up, she has to start all over. My daughter has rarely been in time-out (maybe a handful of times since turning 2 last Dec.)

Oh and no need to use a magic eraser on the drawn on wall, toothpaste will remove the crayon and won't harm your paint. Just an FYI.

same here! i just go down to her level hold her and say no in a very firm and serious supernanny type voice, she looks at me smiling for a second to see if i mean it, and i say it again (trying not to smile) then she will walk of, and stop what shes doing. its all i can really do at this age, she usualy stops now, and knows when mummy means no. i dont really believe in time out, after having 4 kids it just never worked for me, i believe in takling the problem head on, rather than push the problem away. but thats just me, especialy at this young age. oh and i tried a light slap, this made everything worse as it then teaches the child to express there annoyance, and anger at other children with a slap. so yeah just keep saying no, she will learn eventualy.

I use timeouts. she 5 so its 5 minutes of that.

take away her activities for the day that she enjoys.. such movies, computer, toys.

You think at 21 months old she doesn't understand "no" - wow, good luck with that!!