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Counselling after adult circumcision.. please?

Serious question, so please treat it as such. I had to be circumcised in March 2002 - as a paraphimosis emergency. (Dorsal slit initially to release the oedema, then a full circumcision later.)

1. I feel mutilated.

2. I'm embarrassed when using public urinals or swimming pool changing rooms; and any (rare) medical examination involving genital exposure.

3. Above all, I am losing so much penile sensitivity with a permanently bare glans as the months and years pass by, sexual satisfaction is deeply compromised - even masturbation has become a learning curve which takes so much more effort without foreskin.

I'm an Englishman. We don't routinely circumcise our boys. Almost all male circumcision, boy or man, is the result of medical necessity.

I need help to somehow accept the loss of my foreskin. It won't grow back. I have searched for private counsellors locally in the hope of finding one who might have a solution for me. But any counselling of this kind is for boys under 16 and is offered prior to the surgery, not after it's done.

Long post and I apologise. But since my home country seems unable to help, my last resort is to ask the world via Yahoo! answers.

Update:

Barcode, Peter H and Dawn: I asked to be taken seriously. If your critical replies had been offered without rancour, I would have welcomed them.

To everyone else: a very big thank you. Your suggestions have given me real help and food for thought. I'm e-mail clickable now - new here and didn't know I could change the 'invisible' default! I will both e-mail and accept e-mails now.

Best Answer? VERY difficult: too many of them, frankly. The first reply from the 14 year old boy who changed his mind about his foreskin, struck home for me. Or I can ask you all to choose, if you will?

13 Answers

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  • Connor
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'm currently studying Psychology right now and eventually will be in the psychology field as a psychologist. I plan on becoming a sex therapist I also was circumcised at birth and enraged it was done without my permission, my therapist (as I have depression) that I was seeing at the time was more than happy to help me with the same extact issues and he really helped me with it. If you are looking for a specific therapist that will be willing to help you I suggest either a Sex Therapist, or a Greif councilor. I would try to find a Sex Therapist near you first, they are highly educated in sex and the reporpductive system (they have more schooling in that area than any doctor). They also work with people with sexual dysfunctions due to circumcision, surgery, injuries, or just pure bad luck and they are trained to deal with a persons grief over it.

    Morning the loss of a foreskin requires the grieving process as well so If you can't find a sex therapist try a grief councilor (they usually work with people who have had a family member die/about to die or people who are about to die however they still should be able to greatly help you)

    You should be able to find someone in England that's in these specialities, you just have to poke around for them. What you can also do to maybe help you is phone your hospital and ask them if they have a Psychiatrist on staff that you can make an appointment with. You can go see them and they will probably be able to reffer you to a specialist in the Psychology field. It just takes some searching around but you should be able to find them.

    Now, that being said have you ever heard of non-surgical foreskin restoration? I did it last year and it's been the best decision I have ever made, you couldn't pay me to go back. The process is long, it took me a good two years to restore mine but it was worth every ounce of effort. The sexual pleasure I got back was amazing, my orgasms are much more powerful and longer lasting, masturbation is WAY easier (you are right masturbation is a friggin hassel without a foreskin). My partner goes crazy for my foreskin and I think loves the results more than I do lol. It's completely changed my life and it's also been the best therapy. I am no longer reminded every time I go to the urinal, or change my clothes, or take a shower that I was mutilated and emasculated. I feel whole, I feel normal, I feel natural. Non-surgical foreskin restoration isn't perfect but to be honest it's so great even if they do come out with a way to 100% grow a new foreskin with stem cells and fully replace the part to normal I probably wouldn't do it because I'm really happy with the results I already have.

    Look into it at the very least, I highly reccomend it.

    -Connor

    Source(s): Feel free to email me off my profile if you want more info or you just need someone to talk to.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hey,....what you are talking about,....missing the foreskin,...being embarrassed in public change rooms, feeling mutilated,....that is what us circumcised guys live with every day of our lives. You are not alone in your thoughts. I have talked with hundreds of guys like you who fell prey to the circumcising doctors, (again unnecessarily) and regreted it the minute it happened.

    You may have been told by the doctor that circucision was necessary, but there have always been medical and non medical alternatives. Removing the whole foreskin is never necessary. Doctors make loads of money from this mutilating procedure, first when they cut the skin off, and later in life when they try to repair the damage they did by cutting it off in the first place. It is a money driver practice,...not a practical application method. Circumcision by its very nature is a highly destructive procedure

    I was unnecessarily circumcised as a child and hated it my whole life. I began to restore my foreskin over three years ago and it is the best thing I have ever done for myself. I highly recommend it to all circumcised men.

    I know Connor, and EW have written so I know they will have also mentioned foreskin restoration,...as well as Moose,...

    Foreskin restoration is a valid process that has worked for me. I help lots of guys from this site get started on their own foreskin restoration process.

    Often when they write to me and find out they are talking to someone who truly does understand how they feel about being circumcised, they often want to 'vent' for several days until they get it out of their system. If you just want to write and talk about it,....I would be glad to give you some honest feedback,....and the moral support you need to continue with some closure on this.

    Have a look through the sites below and see if Foreskin Restoration appeals to you. I can put you in touch with other restorers your age that will also answer your questions.

    Please feel free to contact me.

    Looking forward to it.

    Mithras

  • Anna
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    First off don't let people tell you that what you feel is wrong because it isn't. Every man is entitled to feel however he wants regarding his circumcision (Barcode and Peter H take note of that). If you're upset, then you have every right to be upset.

    I highly highly suggest finding a sex therapist to talk to.

    Also look into non-surgically restoring your foreskin. Every guy I've talked to who has done it (and hundreds of thousands of guys are doing it/have done it) absolutely LOVE their results and report a significant increase in sexual pleasure and sensitivity.

    Foreskin restoration does usually take over a year, sometimes even a few years, to accomplish...but what's better, doing that or spending the rest of your LIFE circumcised?

    I suggest foreskin restoration because not only will it make you look intact and increase sexual function, but it'll also help you come to terms with your feelings of being mutilated and embarrassment.

    Good luck

  • e w
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You can use non-surgical foreskin restoration, as more than 200,000 other guys are doing.

    Foreskin restoration will give a more natural appearance, and also enhances sexual sensitivity and function, as well as the intensity of orgasm. It won't repair the permanent neural/vascular damage that is circumcision.

    I don't have as much sympathy for you as I do for those who had circumcision forced on them as infants, without any choice in the matter. You allowed yourself to be talked into circumcision, when it wasn't necessary nor desirable. Obviously you didn't look into the adverse effects and complications resulting from male genital mutilation, called circumcision.

    However, you were misled, and you may have a case in your country against the doctor who mutilated you. If he's a member of the religions that try to impose circumcision on all males, you may have a case against him, as it is illegal in the UK to use religious bias in the treatment of patients.

    You should speak out more against male genital mutilation---there are too many individuals who have been convinced that it is beneficial.

    Circumcision is a fraud and a hoax.

    A foreskin is not a birth defect; it is a birthright.

    ERIC

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  • 5 years ago

    I recognize I'm no longer answering the query, however I needed to remark. I believe the ladies who've published in this query are monsters. Straight up. If you best had a clue what I've been by way of, along side many different guys. Seriously. You will have to burn for the hell you set the youngsters that you just supposedly love by way of. I recognize that they're going to reciprocate it while the time comes, like I have got to mine. Ironic that those who guard a little one's correct to reside are the primary to attack a little one's correct to lifestyles complete, as god meant us to be. You spat within the face of god. And you spawn inside your youngsters the ideas of suicide, and emotions of mutilation, violation and sexual attack that you're presently protecting.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Circumcision is not an easy thing to go through. All I can offer though is that there us a creme called Man1 Man Oil available that helps with sensitivity issues down there. This is a pretty common side effect to adult circumcision and this creme will definitely help. It's safe and works quickly too. Check it out.

  • thom t
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    One thing you can do to prevent keratinization(hardening) of the glans: I've heard of a product called Man Hoods, although I've never seen one. I would also suggest soft cotton Y-fronts to prevent constant abrasion with clothing.

    Source(s): myths and facts Ignore the Myths, Get the Facts . The following cultural beliefs, or myths, are often used as reasons for circumcision. After each myth, some relevant facts are ... www.nocircpa.org/4642.html · Cached page
  • its me
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    sorry to hear that you are not happy

    it sound like you are suffering from depression and you are putting it down to being cut.

    lots of people in the uk are cut (i am and im in the uk)

    since you needed it for medical reasons you should not feel bad about it

    you should not be embarrassed about it, if and when any one see it it will not bother them and doctors have seen it all before

    as to you losing feeling i think you have been reading to much anti BS and jacking off 9/10 is the same as before

    I hope you can get the help you need and get better soon

    Source(s): cut at 18 and 31 and live in the UK so i do know what you are going through here is a good site which may help you cut at 18 and 31 for medical reasons ( yes you can be cut more then once ) and it still works and feels the same i know this to be true as i have known it from both sides and being cut at birth is not the same See these link for true life story’s from men who are happy to be cut (these links are for over 18's only not my problem if you look) http://books.dreambook.com/danricketts/c%E2%80%A6 http://www.danricketts.net/circdecs.htm
  • 1 decade ago

    Wow I'm 14 and I thought having foreskin was embarrassing and bad but I guess it's actually good to have it so now I don't really wanna get circumsized.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    have you looked into foreskin restoration through stretching? I know some people who have gone through it and it is worth it. If you would like some info then email me from my profile with your email address (you have blocked profile emails). I have some info that will help you in making a stretching devise that you can make yourself for about $10 from stuff at home. I know someone who did and worked well.

    I would also like some info from you about when you had it done.

    Moose

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