Would it be rude of me to speak my mind to my fiance over this subject?

I agree with you, entirely. What you're doing is being a doll, a robot; soon or later, you will end up having no say in the matter (well, until your in laws die or something, but that's not the point). You need to let them know that you have what you want too; although they may have really strong, deep family bonds or whatnot- you are the fiance. You will be marrying their son. Thus, you should have stronger bonds with him, than the parents with him.

If you don't give them some boundaries, then they may start taking over everything slowly- what'll happen with your first child? Maybe they're decide what to name him or her too. Or if you want to get a different house, or something- "No, you shouldn't get that sort of house. ___[Fiance's name]__ shouldn't ever live in that sort of house!"

(I know I'm portraying them in a mean light, but honestly, that is kind of the only way I can imagine it....so please, don't take any offense)

Furthermore, what if you need to move somewhere because of your job? By all rights, your husband/fiance/whatnot should come with you, if he can. But if his parents start dragging you down because they don't want their "darling" to leave them, then what'll probably end up happening? You'll get shipped off to that place for some months by yourself because your husband/fiance/whatnot can't come with you because he'll "break his mother's heart".

In one way, you can also think that there is some insincerity, well, not exactly that, but somewhat, from your fiance's part. If he knows how insufferable this is to you, why doesn't he do anything about it? Or if he doesn't know about it, then why hasn't he noticed? I'm sure that anyone who has had at least more than 1 date before knows how their parents will treat the bf/gf. Probably someone has complained to him about their behavior in the past; your fiance should know about the annoyance you are going through! And if he isn't being determined enough to put you before anyone else, then he shouldn't be your fiance. You're going to be married; he should put more effort for you, since you've already done enough for him. What his mom is doing is as good as blackmail against you; you don't want to make her unhappy, or "break up her family", but you want to be happy too. In your situation, YOU should be more selfish. You need to let at least your fiance know how you feel; otherwise, you will have to endure some painful years of marriage (will they even let you go on a honeymoon somewhere farther away than 10 miles? Maybe not). If they can't adapt to anything new in their life, then make them. You have to let them know that there's reality; they can't shelter their little boy any longer, now that he has someone to take care of, and someone who will care for him in turn. Trust me- if you don't let someone know, then things will only end up getting worse. I would say that you should talk to your fiance first (if you have to convince him to take things to his parents, cry! Plead, threaten to break up, I don't know. I don't think he'll be so inconsiderate as to ignore your feelings after you start crying, but if he does, then you should break up with him anyway). Then let him talk to his family about your insecurities or something, or just let him let them know that you and he will be going together, without the rest of the hubbab, to the fair. He has to stick to his decision, or there's no point- he should not, and cannot, put you behind everyone else any longer. You will, and are his main family now as his fiance; that is a fact that his mother needs to respect. So try talking to some other people about it, and then hopefully it will all work out.

Hope you survive! :')

whilst clever adult men thought is slightly cool, I nonetheless do no longer think of YOUR wedding ceremony is the time for him to point. No reason mandatory. it is your and your groom's day, no longer this gals. and that i think of the chum is being egocentric and self conventional to even ask a bride for something like that. Will he ask you to no longer get pregnant whilst his spouse is pregnant so she would be able to be the focal element then besides? And guess what? Their infants may be the neatest, cutest, and can be people who're drooled over the main. Nah! supply him a NO suitable now and help him comprehend the international would not revolve around him. (And it is coming from a gal who dislikes the seen bridezillas, etc. yet come on, his request is slightly a lot!)

I say you stop holding back and forcing yourself to be polite. They're showing their true, overbearing colors, show your true colors too. go with them, but BE yourself! WHO CARES if they'll be appalled -- they obviously don't care how you and your fiancée feel, so why do you continually try to impress them? I know you want to be liked by your future or potential in-laws (I was so scared to meet my boyfriend's family because I wanted them to like me), but you shouldn't have to not act like yourself to be accepted. Just LET GO! Be you! I think maybe your fiancée should try sitting down with his mom and remind her that he's 24 and needs to have a little bit of his own life going on too.

I honestly don't mean to sound harsh here, I just can totally relate to how "stuck" you feel. And I know you don't want to come across as mean and ruin a relationship...but sometimes you have to be a little nasty once for them to get it. But then the next time, bend for them a little again, ya know?

Good luck!