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How do I handle this situation with future in laws?
My fiance and I were in a bit of a situation a few months ago. We have been out of the country for a month, and we were leaving right when our lease was about to run out. So, we found a new apartment, and weren't set to move in until we got back. Instead of paying for storage space, my future in laws offered to let us use their garage as a place to put our stuff until we got back.
Well, when we got back, my mother in law told us that they needed a few things for their lake house and decided to use some of our stuff (offering to pay us back). I was a little upset, because she didn't wait to ask us, but I let it go. She ended up taking our microwave, couch, a bookshelf, a toaster oven, a dresser, our bed frame, one of our tvs, and our kitchen table.
When we moved in, we told her that we would appreciate it if she payed us back for all the things at once (she's a well known lawyer and his dad is a well known doctor. They have the money). We spent years trying to collect all our furniture and "stuff" and it's not fair for us to just start over. We worked hard for that stuff. She told us there would be NO problem with that, and that she would pay us next time we see her.
Well, about 2 months have gone by, and she has yet to pay us. My fiance didn't seem too bothered by it, but when I reminded him about it, he asked his mom, who responded with something along the lines of "How do you expect me to just hand you money? You can go out and buy all this stuff yourself. How could you ask your own mother to pay for stuff after she allowed you to use her garage as storage space! You didn't even pay me rent!"
The reason we didn't pay her rent was because she said we didn't have to (we offered!).
We haven't replaced any of our stuff because we're waiting to have the money in our hands before we buy anything (we're over budget by thousands of dollars, and we've almost worked it off but all this is costing over thousands of dollars!!!)
How do I handle this situation? I want to keep peace with the in laws, but honestly, this is driving me insane.
It's been
It's not so much that he isn't fighting along side me. We've ceased going over there since she's said that, and he's had hours of arguments on the phone. He's at a loss as to what to do too, and it's ruining his relationship with his mother as well.
5 Answers
- pxpdooLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
Go take it. Tell them you'll be over to the lake house in a day or this weekend or something, with a truck, and make it a statement rather than a negotiation. You can even be extremely nice and polite while you do it. Because honestly, a person that would just appropriate your stuff and then not return it sounds more like a sociopath than an in-law, and this means that negotiation will not work...
- Jess4rsakeLv 71 decade ago
First of all, your fiance is not your husband. If you are not married to him yet, the main argument is between him and his mother. He must learn to stand up to her for what is his. You might have to take her to court to get back your personal belongings if they are being held on her property. If that happens your boyfriend may or may not go along with your efforts since he is still so dependent upon his parents to watch out for his belongings. Settle your own affairs first, then see how much peace you can salvage because unless he takes charge, potential mothers-in-law are accustomed to having the last word in their son's decision making. Best wishes to you.
Source(s): Family and Relationship Studies Social Psychology conversations - ?Lv 71 decade ago
Your desire to keep the peace is commendable, but she is on a power play. Have a direct and firm talk with her, tell her that you must have your items back and offer to go pick them up. If she refuses you will know that it does not matter what you do, she will never stop trying to offend you, and its unlikely she will ever pay for your items.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
ahh i feel where your coming from, its a hard spot bkuz you dont wana b rude n stay on there good side but you want to stand your ground. if esp if ur hubby is a moms boy (mine is) they see no worng in there mother. they cud run someone over but noo there not wrong lol well my advice to you is just talk with ur man help him understand ur side of the story. remind him u guys OFFERED to pay rent. that it isnt fair for her to throw it in your face. tell her if thats how shes goin to b then in future situations you uys wont consider goin to her for help. bcuz later on shell pull the rug undrneath u. i personally think you shud ust calmly tell her u kno what we offered to pay we dont have the money to just go new housewear things. it isnt fair to us that we saved up to buy our things for OUR house n you without askin judt tae our things. we need it more. i dont kno i think thats wat i wud say to my in laws. i stand up to my inlaws in a respectful matter. otherwise they will just walk all over you .. dont let anyone tell you your wrong bcuz you have every right to b upset.
hope i helped and good luck(: !
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
I think this is down to your fiancee to sort out. They are his parents and it's his responsibility.
