How to tell my scary/mean barn owner that I'm moving my horse? Advice needed ASAP?

There is no way to do this but to just be up front. I would just say that you have the opportunity to board with your friend and you have to move on it now or the opportunity may pass. If you get into making comparisons in the standard of care, it could turn into an argument, so I'd just leave that subject alone. Just inform her of your intent to move, and maybe tell her that it was not an easy decision but that it's what you've decided you want to do.

Something I think you should think about is what you are feeding. I suggest you put the horse on a senior feed like Purina makes, since a 23 year old horse wont utilize cereal grains as well, and sweet feed is not recommended for older horses with metabolic issues like insulin resistance. Many people I know feed Purina senior to their hard keepers of any adult age. It is better digested and utilized, and has a low glycemic index so it is safe for horses with metabolic issues. Feeding a good quality grass hay 24/7 along with senior feed is healthier and more likely to keep your horse in good weight. You can even make a mash of Purina Senior if the horse's missing teeth prevent chewing effectively, and if the horse can't chew hay, the senior feed is a complete balanced feed that can be fed without hay.

At any rate, your horse should be fed what you determine is correct, and it sounds like the new facility will do that. Again, I'd just avoid comparing the new and old facilities and just approach it as being about having the opportunity to board with your friend.

I know the feeling, I had a similar thing leaving my old barn. When you tell her try to stay neutral, don't give the reasons you've given here, say something like it's closer/cheaper or something like that so you're not directly critising your old BO. I think a weeks notice is fair, especially if there's no written contract but definately good to have the new place on standby as the BO may say you have to leave right away (had that happen).

If you're really worried do you have a more confident friend or would one of your parents come with you (even though your an adult, I find parents good for this sort of thing) cause having someone else with you will help you feel a bit more secure and it will also help to make your old BO less likely to be really nasty cause there's someone else there.

It sounds like you're doing the right thing so gotta do it, good luck

It is never easy standing up to a bully but, what can she do to you?

Think yourself big, you ARE better than her because you put the animal first and she cannot be bothered.

Look her straight in the eye and just tell her that you want to thank her for all her help over the last few years but you really feel that Fred is ageing and needs a blanket on at night and to be brought in if the weather is bad. As she is not prepared to do this you have made other arrangements.

Let her stew if she gets mean, just do not argue but stress that there is no way that you want to fall out with her and that you thought that after this time together she would be more adult about it all.

Let her stew. Not sure when you are taking the horse but would make it sooner rather than later!

Actually what I'd do in your shoes is this. I'd pretend to be taking my horse to a weekend trail ride, a show, or somewhere, and then take the horse to my friend's and never bring him back.

When the horse is safe, I'd grab a friend/parent/police officer and a camera phone and go in personally to see her and tell her you've moved your horse permanently. She doesn't need a huge explanation but if she demands one, tell her she's cruel and refused to follow your instructions. Make sure your friend is recording the whole thing on camera so it can be used as proof if needed if she gets violent.

If you don't want the confrontation, just send a certified letter.

Get the horse out first and don't let on that he's not coming back.

ADD:

My horses are in a place where the lady was once so nice, and now she's rude or jealous (or something!) and will bark at me in front of others. Acts like my kid belongs to her. But I give her a look and she shuts up. I'll be getting my own land soon, yay!

What I did when I moved barns the last time was I wrote a letter! Kind of a similar situation however I wasnt really scared of my old barn owner but I wrote a letter so there was no confusion...is this new barn any closer to where you live??? In my case I stated that I was moving to a barn that was closer to my house.

I would write a letter and also give a verbal notice...you should not have be scared to move your horse out of a bad situation! But once you give your notice try to be out at the barn as much as possible so you can make sure that nothing else bad is happening

Hope this helps! :)

Good luck to you, your horse, and your new barn!

This person cannot stop you, and from what I've heard you have a bloody good reason. If this horrible owner tries to blackmail or hurt you, you can just call the police or sue them against assault. I would also call the RSPCA, one of these days a horse at that barn is going to die for their idleness, and you might as well stop these people and wake them up before it does happen. I know it's easy for us to say ''don't be scared, stand up for yourself'' and i know that when you do pluck up courage and go to this person, you will want to back down because your anxious or scared, believe me, i've gone through the same thing. What i did was that i wrote down all the things that the person has done to me (and your horse in this case) and i thought about what would happen if i kept quite. This really made me wound up and i went straight to the person and set them straight. I knew i had good reasons, and i couldn't back down because of them. Guess what happened next. yep, that person just walked off and never bothered me again. yay.

You need to think of your horse. You obviously love him and want the best for him. You've have the answer thrown at you already. Just go to your friends barn. Walk up to the barn owner and say ''I'm leaving because you don't care for my horse like i pay you for. You cannot stop me, or else i will call the police. You've lot a customer, and believe me, you will be losing many more if you don't pull your act together and do your job'' then don't take it any further. Pack up your stuff, get your horse in a trailer and drive away.

Write a letter, leave it on her chair or where ever you put mail and be done with it.

Just remember though, you have to break your boarding contract by the terms outlined. If not, the BO can come after you and sue you. Usually it's 30 days notice (one month) or sometimes there are other opt-outs, such as paying for a month's board so you can just up and leave. You'll have to discuss this with the BO.

I have no idea how old you are but if you are a minor, I would suggest bringing you parents along with you since they would have had to be the ones to sign the contract in the first place. If your not a minor, bring your parents anyway for moral support and perhaps this woman won't be quite the hag to them.

In the letter, simply state:

To whom it may concern,

I am giving you notice of to the termination of our boarding agreement. According to contract, I am required to give you ____(how every many days needed here)____ amount of days notice, so therefore I will be leaving on __(insert date here)___ , 2010.

Sincerely,

Signature

Your name

Date

If you can break the contract by paying an additional months board:

"To whom it may concern,

I am giving you notice of to the termination of our boarding agreement. According to contract, I am allowed to give you 1 (one) month's board in order to fulfill my contractual obligations for immediate departure, please find the enclosed check for the amount of $__(one month's board amount here)__.

Please be advised that I will be leaving the barn on ___(date that your horse gets trailered out here)____

Sincerely,

Signature

Your name

Date

You don't have to provide reasons or thanks when you leave. It's a business, horses will come and go. Just end it and keep your mouth shut until your horse arrives at the new barn, and more importantly, don't bad mouth this women to anyone you don't know if you can trust. Never burn bridges in the equestrian world (or real world for that matter) because word spreads faster then you know.

Good luck.

Get your friend to go with you, if you have any friends that are massive (like, proper ripped, and look muscly) take them, if your paying her money to keep your horse in her barn then you have every right to stop keeping your horse there as long as you furfill your payments as stated in your contract (if you have such a document). Otherwise, you can...

*Bring a dog (people tend to be less agressive to dog owners if the dog is with them, even a little dog gets very protective and aggressive when their owners are threatened due to there being a srtong owner-dog relationship)

*Ask the police to escort you

*Ask one of your parents to take you (no im not trying to baby you just people tend to try and take advantage of 16-25 ish yr olds unless there is an older person there)

*Turn up in a hoodie, go up to her and say something really chavvy while one of your hands is in your pocket and there is some metal in there (she will think its a knife, itll be a laugh!)

*Theres probably gonna be somebody else working there that will make sure she dont get too nasty

*SUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE for mistreating your horse (punching it in the neck)

:-D itll turn out ok whatever you do, trust me

sorry if i call your horse 'it' but i dunno if its a Boy/Girl

if you have a contract with her that says she is supposed to do certain things for your horse, such as feed him certain feed, put him in when the weather turns bad ect. then if she broke the contract you can move him tonight.

I would just tell her that things are not working out here and in one week my horse will be gone, and if she starts to get irritated then explain to her that her barn doesn't provide the care that your horse needs and if she keeps threatening you that your horse will be moved tonight and you will keep her last weeks board because of all the threats that she has made you

Well I would say if she's that crazy, go tell her and carry a gun. (my opinion) But you should just tell her that you've been a great BO and a friend has offered for me to move my horse there (and so on) just be nice about it, as nice as possible, but seriously, if she's crazy, I would carry a weapon of some sort... knife, gun, fire poker etc (whatever else you can hide?) but I wish you good luck and hope it all works out okay, and if you do see her in the future, just either don't talk to her, or if she's over it, you can still say "hi" and be civil to each other. GOOD LUCK!