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Can someone help me edit my intro sentence?
This is my intro sentence for an assignment I have, but i'm not sure if its sophisticated enough.
"Once I was optimistic, greeting the mornings as I awoke, confident about my day ahead, enjoying the love that I would get, seeing the beauty of the world, believing in second chances, being happy to be alive, regarding the glass as half full."
Thanks!
Its a long list because its suppose to be modeled after some of Brain Doyle's sentences.
1 Answer
- barbara vLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
This is an excellent sentence, just as you have written it -- perfect in every detail.
It needs no editing.
But -- what happens next??!! It's so good, in other words, that I am eager to know what the next line will be.
Source(s): I've been editing for 46 years.
