My inlaws have tried on 3 separate occasions to tell my husband and I how to raise our kids.?

Question

3 times my in-laws have "ambushed" myself and my husband with telling us how wrong we are treating and raising our kids.  My husband and I are in our 40's have 5 kids from 5 to 20 years old and all but the 5 year old are from husband's first marriage.  My in-laws don't have a clue about divorce, step-parenting, or how to deal with lesbian's (the kid's mom is one).  They don't bother to get the facts, and make accusations and such and then are mad at us because we won't let the kids go to their house.  They have accused me of talking on the internet to my ex..which I did but for a very innocent reason and my husband knew about it beforehand.  They really loved me in the beginning of our marriage but because my sister-in-law is jealous of us she is trying to turn my in-laws against us.  I don't want my kids going to see their grandparents when they run me down and then there's the thing that they don't believe in the Bible and we raise our kids in church and teach them Bible principles.  1.)How do we get my in-laws to STOP doing this, we used to enjoy going to their house, but now we never know what to expect so we don't go?  2.)How do we make them see that THEY are in the wrong and we deserve an apology?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Chances are they will never realise they are wrong. The important thing is to ensure the well being of your kids and if this means reducing or stopping altogether their interaction with their grandparents then so be it. Let the inlaws know, of course, that you are limiting the visits as a direct reaction to their meddling and maybe they will agree to keep silence regarding what they perceive as your faulty parenting, allowing for a few visits. You should also be present during these visits so you know what goes on. Keep up the Bible principles, and pray for the inlaws (bless those that curse you). I hope it gets better or you receive the grace to bear it. Best of luck.

Bridey · Answer

Don't go to their home.  If they start in on  you while in your home, ask them to leave.  Tell them the subject is not open to discussion.  I really can't believe that a couple in their 40's would even put up with such crap!  If you were 20's and newly married and 1 or 2 kids maybe you would feel like you must listen to their tirades.

So be firm, if the subject and badgering comes up even once you leave their home or they leave yours.  If it occurs on a phone call, sorry I have to hang up know!
They will get the idea.  They had their family , you have yours and how do they know that you were talking to former spouse unless you gave the info?

What works well is also not telling them ANYTHING you have planned for your family until it is over.
Then let them know you bought the kids a new bike or tv or booked a trip,

You will not get an apology out of them that is sincere and they would use that over your head somehow as well
Get a spine!

Precious Gem · Answer

Don't hold your breath on getting an apology from them. It will never happen.
Since they won't respect the way you and your husband have chosen to raise your
children then limit the time your children are around them. Limit their visits to
supervised visits in your home. Make sure they understand that they are not to speak
negatively about you or your husband when the children are present or they will not
be allowed to see the children any more. They have a right to their opinion but their
rights end where your children's rights begins. Your children have the right to grow up
in a non-hostile environment.

? · Answer

Stop going to their house.

And of they have the gall to come to yours then keep the door locked.

Anonymous · Answer

Ummm, actually, your in-laws are right and you need to listen to them. You are damaging your kids and you need serious help.

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My inlaws have tried on 3 separate occasions to tell my husband and I how to raise our kids.?

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