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Having trouble with a breakup.?

A couple of days ago my girlfriend found that I had been talking to my ex-girlfriend because my ex-girlfriend messaged me that she was very upset because of a break-up that she just went through. I'm a kind, compassionate soul and no matter the person, I like to help them. I guess this was a bad idea. My girlfriend told me many months ago not to talk to my ex because she is nothing but trouble. Later in the text messages, but before my breakup, I had said things to my ex-girlfriend such as "Hey we should go on a date!" and then later I said "Just kidding, I was just trying to get underneath your skin."

Anyway, my girlfriend broke up with me in furious fashion and I'm having a hard time coping. She says she wants to just be friends for a month and see if I've learned my lesson from talking to my ex-girlfriend. I'm thrilled that my girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend, wants to give it another chance to make this work, but I'm just having a hard time coping with this. What are things that I can do specifically to earn her trust back?

Update:

I also tried to tell her that maybe friends wouldn't be that good of an idea, but she said that she wouldn't know if I have changed if we didn't stay in contact. She said it would probably be easier to stay broken up since if she can do it for a month, then she can do it forever.

Update 2:

The answer is C. But she said that she didn't mean to read the messages. My phone accidentally popped them up, which I know it does, and then when she read one message she couldn't help but read more. She had my phone because I gave it to her to charge for me while I was at my swim meet.

2 Answers

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  • Vi
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I agree with Sammie; what she is doing is playing an unhealthy game. She sounds a little on the controlling tip, which is not cool. I am friends with my exes. I am up front about that and I don't falter on that or change my stance for guys I date. I just don't throw people out of my life just because our relationship did not work. A couple of guys have challenged me about that but I just let them know that the topic is not open for discussion. I don't try to control them and they need to understand my boundaries, as well.

    That being said, you played a dicey game yourself with your ex ex or previous ex, first ex or whatever you call her. Joking with her about getting going on a date wasn't cool. What if she said she wanted to and that she wasn't joking?

    Also, how did this info get back to girlfriend #2? Multiple choice:

    A) Did you tell her?

    B) Did ex girlfriend #1 tell/show texts to ex girlfriend #2?

    C) Did ex girlfriend #2 go through the texts on your phone?

    If your answer is B then you have another problem because girlfriend #1 wants you back and will stoop pretty low to get you, including destroying your relationship. Problem

    If your answer is C then your problem is that girlfriend #2 doesn't comprehend respect and boundaries. Problem.

    If your answer is A then... have mercy! We'll have to have another dialogue if your answer is A.

  • 1 decade ago

    Be upfront and honest! But honestly she's playing a game now...."I'm gonna teach you a lesson" that's not a healthy relationship

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