Ideas on how to have them respect my choices?

The best way to go about this is to be true to yourself and rise above them. This is of course not going to be easy. You clearly don't want to mention the group to which you are in but it sounds very cult like and by cult I mean the worst kind.

I know people who were in a similar situation to yourself and it is very sad because their families always put their cult before anything else, which is one of the bad things about cults. The majority of cases are with the cult of scientology. You can read some of their stories on:

http://www.exscientologykids.com/

The pattern is the same though. If anyone shows any sign of wanting to leave then are pressured in to staying using any form of psychological warfare available and in some cases physical restraint (in the name of the cult).

My advice is that unfortunately you are unlikely to undo you family's years of indoctrination on your own and trying to do so will only make things worse for you. Wait until you are in a position where you can move and be independent, announce your intentions and do so pretty much straight away. They will likely start a campaign to get you back in to the "fold" aka the cult which will involve visits from family members and officials of the cult. Then they will likely write you off as being lost soul and refuse contact with you. Hopefully one day your family will come around and start contact with you but alas cult group think is pretty strong stuff, hence the accusations of brainwashing.

Incidentally some cults have official ways to leave where you can stay in good standing with the cult (the church of scientology does) this is invariably a mechanism to procrastinate your leaving to beyond the point where they convince you to stay.

As to being a disappointment to them, let that go as this is the biggest hold over you they have and they will use it. Be true to yourself. Live your own life. It may not be easy leaving the cult but from all the experiences of all the people I have dealt with it is ultimately easier than staying in the cult.

Sorry to paint such a gloomy picture but that is reality and it is part of what makes such groups so damaging. If you don't do this for you think about any children you may have. Do you honestly want them growing up in the same situation as you? I really hope that after some time your family will come around and start communicating with you, it does happen but you need to be very strong willed and stick to your plan and not get drawn back in.

You alone must make up your own mind about your religious beliefs or lack of beliefs. Not even your parents can make up your mind for you.

Read a lot. Think a lot. Become an educated person. Learn about all religions, not just Christianity, and read history in order to find out why religions have such a hold over so many people.

Don't feel as if you constantly need to defend yourself to your parents. It will be impossible because strongly religious people by definition cannot accept that other people see things differently. Hang on quietly until you are 18, and then you can remove yourself from the clutches of anyone who doesn't respect your need to decide for yourself.

This is a great website to start with:

http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-Your-Parents-You%27re-...

Even if you're not sure you're an atheist, this will give you ideas about how to ease away from your parents' strict faith.

Remember, there are many of us out here who have gone through the same difficult process as yourself.

Remain respectful of your parents, but trust yourself.

You should ask THEM, Why don't you respect my beliefs? They'll tell you, and leave it at that.

They can't force you to go to church, but they can sure try. I suggest you keep doing what you're doing, go along to get along, and don't make too many waves.

Then leave home to go to college. Keep in touch and be nice. But live elsewhere and don't go back to the church. If they ask, tell them you love virtue and are living a life of love and contribution, just not with all of their particular beliefs. Visit from time to time and when you do, know they'll want you to go to a church meeting or two. Smile and accept their invitation, or don't.

One thing you might try is to in a one-on-one conversation with your mom, really, really listen hard to why she wants your to go to the church. Just listen and take in her whole point of view. Ask questions, like, if you married someone outside the church, why wouldn't she want to show you her love and be at the wedding? Why wouldn't she want to celebrate your life and choices with you? And just listen- don't argue. She's your mom, that's how she thinks. And after she tells you all that she tells you, just look her in the eye, tell her you love her and that you really appreciate how honest and open she is with you. If you argue with her, she'll need to tell you again. But if you really listen and get what she's saying, she can stop talking about it. And then something amazing can happen. Once she feels completely heard, she can begin appreciating you- without you saying anything! Try it...

I agree w/ Voice of Reality. Usually it sort of feels those who find themselves lively are judged extra harshly (referred to as "sluts", and ect.) than the "prudes" that wanna wait. Alot of ppl appear at themselves via rose coloured glasses, & feel they do not pass judgement on however, alot of ppl saving themselves are very self rightous approximately it, and do not appreciate lively ppl. Like I say, I feel the reverse is right. We have thousands of phrases for lively ppl, esp. females, (slut, skank, whore...) and little or no for non-lively ones (prude). Personally I feel different ppls, trade, is simply that.... different ppls trade, and so long as they do not get in my face w/ their oppinion, I don't have any concern w/ them, or it. They have a correct to attend, or now not wait up to they desire. However, if a "prude" is to pass judgement on me, then I will state my oppinion again b/c actually, I think as righteously convicted in my option as they feel they're. I ought to agree w/ munchkin b/c, whilst I'm now not judging, I do feel now not attempting anything earlier than you decide to this is a mistake. I imply, sexual compatability generally is a large deal amoung couples. The man your w/ would be a one million min. guy, or the lady would now not desire it very a lot. your drives would be incompatable, or they would have wierd fetishes, and you do not rather recognise all that until you might have intercourse w/ them. Ppl don't seem to be regularly sincere approximately those matters, and you do not rather recognise, even though you feel you do. Again, your option, I'm now not judging however, I ddon't ought to agree w/ your opinion simply as you do not ought to agree w/ mine. Everyone has the correct to are living their lives the way in which they desire furnished it does not harm anyone, and that is the way in which I think. I can be given others way of life as long as they be given mine.

If you want to be independent then be independent. Live on your own and stop asking help from your family.