My boyfriend isn't interested in having sex anymore?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for about 4 years now, and we've been living together for over a year. We've never had sex very often. Now we haven't for over a month, and only every 2 weeks or so before that. We used to almost every weekend when we'd been drinking, but even that hasn't been happening. I always try to initiate it. We talked about it the other night, he always says he just doesn't get the urge to do it all the time. I asked him if he was still attracted to me, he said yes. I asked him if he ever wanted to have sex with me, he said yes sometimes. He said I'm always grumpy... I get on the computer instead of watching him play video games. He said I need to be nicer more of the time instead of just jumping him at night when he's tired. Maybe if I didn't feel so depressed and rejected, I wouldn't be so damn grumpy! I'm at my wits end. I feel hideous and disgusting. I know I'm not, I know there's plenty of people who would want me. I just don't know what else to do. I've tried talking to him, being reasonable, but I don't think I can live like this forever! I don't remember the last time I really felt connected with someone. Sex helps me feel closer to him and helps with my stress. I don't know if it's me or him, or a little of both. 

Sorry for the long post. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Sweet Venom · Accepted Answer

Sounds like you two are going through a rough patch right now. If you love him, and he loves you, and both of you want to make this relationship work, then perhaps the best path is to seek couples counselling. Find a mediator who can help you two work out your problems. Someone who can help find solutions. 

Perhaps it could be as simple as reconnecting again. Go out on a romantic date. Get all dressed up and maybe you could get dressed at a friends house so he could pick you up from there. Go to a new restaurant and try a new type of food together. Or maybe just stay in and watch a movie together. Cuddle and have fun... with a game of naked twister?

Just try new and fun things :) He has to want to do this with you. Talk to him about it and let him know that you think it will help. Good luck!

horrorstye · Answer

Are you sure he's not seeing someone else? This raises a lot of concern. If his sex drive is down, its either:
- lots of stress
- depression
- possibly using all his libido with another woman
The want for sex isn't just physical, it's mental as well. Ask him if anything is worrying him.

Anonymous · Answer

I love sex. I couldn't stay with a woman if we didn't have sex often.It brings me so close to my girl and shows that we love each other to the fullest. Maybe he is just going through a fase.He might one day give you more sex than you can handle. Good luck.

InimashiTazuya · Answer

Like girls guys need some time off too. Maybe he's got stuff on his mind be patient and give him time lol

? · Answer

Add another girl to the party the next time you think of sex. That will make him horny again.

Graham · Answer

Spice it up a bit? Get him interested again

i (don&#39;t) care ! · Answer

i dont think this guy is worth it and i believe youre wasting youre time find someone who wants to be closer to you in that way :)

Anonymous · Answer

well what i would suggest, is that you should come on to him give him hints, but if that doesent work just come on out and tell him, im sure he'll understand

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My boyfriend isn't interested in having sex anymore?

8 Answers