Need advice please........................?

Question

I no longer love my fiance, I am leaving him soon, but we're still together now (long story).

Whenever he wants to be intimate (sex, kissing etc) I don't want it. I move away from him or tell him "look, I'm sorry I don't wanna do this, maybe later" he gets in a bad mood and says "fine! I just won't touch you then" when I went and had a nap the other day because I'd been up all night with kids (we have 3 kids) he came into the bedroom and started dry humping me from behind. I told him I didn't like that and it was annoying. He got annoyed. I told him I was sorry but I am really tired and had a headache which was true, I also told him if he wants to just lay in bed with me and hug me that's fine, but not to do anything else. He got annoyed and we had an argument. 

Now I do understand he was probably hurt/annoyed etc because I didn't want sex, but shouldn't my feelings count for something too? I wasn't being a ***** to him about it. I said no, but I was polite and said maybe we can do this later. Whenever this happens, its always me that has to say sorry and explain myself while he gets in a bad mood. He has never once said "ok, I'm sorry we can do this later, I still love you anyway" or whatever.

Am I wrong in feeling this way or because I'm his partner I should have sex with him whenever he wants? As I said, I am planning on leaving him soon, just trying to sort stuff out (place to go etc) and we have had problems. 

Thanks

? · Accepted Answer

ok first off, if your leaving him don't prolong it!!
and no you don't have to have sex with someone if you don't want to, that is not right.

Deborah · Answer

I think he is a selfish jerk. If you are planning on leaving having sex with him will just make it harder on everybody. So you are correct no sex. maybe if he had helped out more and been a little more willing to meet you half way like getting his license you wouldn't be thinking of splitting.Before its all over you might just have to tell him rudely no and that sexual advances like that can be considered rape so knock it off. No you don't have to tell him you're sorry. If you're tired you're tired.And don't wait around to leave any longer than you have to.

Al B · Answer

You don't say how long you were together but the fact that you have 3 children makes me wonder if that is the only reason he asked you to marry him in the first place.  If those problems you mention were physical abuse you can contact a domestic violence shelter for help moving on.

no1advice · Answer

What your wrong about is not looking at sex as a responsible thing and put yourself on some birth control LIKE YESTERDAY.

What the fool doesn't realize is he's now set himself up to live in a tent on the side of the road.  Once you leave him and get child support he won't be able to pay like a thousand dollars a month for those kids.  He better start thinking with that head on his shoulders the good lord gave him.

? · Answer

when we love a person, we sometimes do things that we dont like or want to do in order to please them

If BOTH partners do this, then it creates the trust, love and mutual respect that keeps a relationship strong, If one or both persons refuse to make compromises like this, then the relationship is doomed to create two miserable people and eventually fail. I`m not saying that either of you was selfish. Just that the reluctance to accommodate each other was a sign that you two weren`t right for each other and its best that you found out early

Tia · Answer

Obviously you haven't been upfront about leaving, otherwise he would be aware that you've emotionally checked out of the relationship. By denying him constantly, he is feeling neglected. If he was aware of your intention to leave, he may not even try things like that.

? · Answer

um ur kinda being mean. i am sorry but u r :( u have to tell him. tell him right now! he will only try to gain ur love un till then. tell him!

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Need advice please........................?

7 Answers