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Is my mom making fun of her gender or something?
we talked about some 22 yr old bachelor guy wed to a 30 yr old widow and his parents against their marriage. Mom said “because no parents, not even me would want their young son to marry a woman who’s that older, furthermore if she’s a widow (I wonder if she questions her virginity)”. But it’s not like the woman looks freak…She is as good looking as her young husband!
at other time, a mom’s friend said she would like to introduce me to her friend. When she said he’s 36, I asked her isn’t he a bit too old (I was 20). Mom, who was also there, quickly said, “no… 16 years older is norma1!”
About a male cousin who married a woman 9 years younger than him, mom said “9 years difference is nothing” –ok I have no concern on this one except the word “nothing”
mom also came up with views like, men can be unattractive, for it’s their personality that matters, but it’s different for women, as they must always be pretty enough for the men. I wonder where she got such belief, when my mom herself was a very average looking lady married to my good looking father
when we watch story about a woman who does not want to forgive the man who cheated her into prostitution for his benefit, mom said "she should forgive him, because he has changed". i understand the need of being forgiving, but it's not like his mistake was as small as stealing candies. i wonder if my mom actually has any idea how equivalent prostitution to a rape is
what makes my mom buy into this double standard that attacks her own gender?
wow the gentleman, change your name.
as Louise C said something about pregnancy ability, the 30yr old woman i mentioned didn't have any kids with the first husband (even though she was younger then). with this new young husband, she got 2 kids; the first child was after about a year marriage, the second one was like when the first child was already 3 yr old. in case it was true her pregnancy ability has reduced at age 30, who knows if it was the young husband's seeds (probably testosterone too) that helped it over. there's a story of 27 yr old woman married a man 47 yrs old and it has been years yet she's still struggling to get a baby even though it has proven that she is fertile
5 Answers
- True Blue BritLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
I think her ideas are odd. But then, many people are a bit hypocritical.
Is it a major fault - no, but she would have to deal with it if you went contrary to her opinions. I have a friend (my age) who is married to a woman nearly 15 years older. They've been extremely happily married - even though the bridegroom was only 21 when they married - and she was a divorced woman with three children. Not that much younger than their new step dad.
It worked out well, I'm glad to say.
As for the second part - re forgiving - many people think women should be more forgiving. It's the way they were brought up, perhaps.
Luckily for you, you are more balanced.
- Louise CLv 71 decade ago
I think most people would prefer that their children marry someone near their own age. But with boys in particular, a mother may be thinking that an older woman is unlikely to have children. However, I think a difference of eight years is not that great, a woman of 30 still has quite a few childbearing years ahead of her. I think your mother has an exaggerated view of age differences.
As far as attractiveness goes, I agree with your mother up to a point. I don't think it is true that attractiveness does not matter in a man - but with a man personality has a lot to do with what makes him attractive. A very goodlooking man is not necessarily more attractive than an average looking man, a lot depends on his personality. it does not appear to work like that so much the other way round. You don't often see a very goodlooking man married to an average looking woman, but you quite often see a very goodlooking woman married to an average looking man. Your mother is unusual.
- mightymite1957Lv 71 decade ago
If she honestly believes this, it's probably the way she was raised. It may be that this is what she was taught when she was growing up.
Things do change over the years, what used to not be accepted now is. It's sometimes hard for people to adjust.
When you meet the right person for you, you will know it. Age and looks won't matter.
- 1 decade ago
She sounds brainwashed. She's defending and advocating inequality, ask her to explain her erroneous beliefs.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
it means she's not brainwashed by feminisms garbage and has a mind of her own. she's not being hypocritical at all as a FEMINIST said before (feminists are THE most hypocritical people on this planet). what is she suppose to say? is she suppose to conform to feminisms ideas? hypocrite. go ahead and defy your mother, marry a younger man, see how far you get LOL.
