gentle parenting advocates question -what do you do?

Tantrum...pointedly make eye contact and walk away. (with in a safe distance) Negative actions should not warrant attention

Won't go to bed...throws things (put up for a couple of days if it is a toy for misuse) tell them throwing is not allowed. Screaming... told to use indoor voice and I can carry him if he is unwilling to walk.

Gets up repeatedly...well, he is potty trained so that is his first line (and we really can't tell him he can't go potty) But all the other times, we lead him straight back to bed. If you let him stay out of bed he knows it is only a matter of time before you let him.

Hitting...I say "we don't hit" have a timeout and aplogize to person he hit. Pinching (and biting) pinch or bite him back yes, mean but effective and it's not like you have to bite or pinch that hard to get your point across.

I am a 'co-sleeper' and have never been near the middle two; kid is an only child, who is gentle with playmates...

As for the first? Sort out the problem. Which is usually tiredness. Efficient good cheer. Mary-Poppins-brisk-chipper removal from the situation, off to the bedroom for a nursing to sleep. If it's not naptime, well, on with the Poppinsesque cheerful removal; reassurance, hugs, statements re. available options.

In re.

"But do you actually get these behaviors fixed by doing your style of gentle parenting?"

I credit a great deal of our total lack of behaviour problems to the total lack of punishment, yes.

These

http://www.aces.edu/pubs/docs/H/HE-0687/

http://www.aces.edu/pubs/docs/H/HE-0684/

http://www.aces.edu/pubs/docs/H/HE-0719/

http://www.aces.edu/pubs/docs/H/HE-0718/

are great monographs if you're interested in a better approach.

if i diciplined my 4 year old in the same way i do the other three kids he would get nowhere in life. Every child is diferent and every form of punishment should always be altered to suit the individual child.

when my 4 year old is acting out, he needs to run outside in circles for a while till he gerts his energy out, not sit in a corner where it'll just keep building up...