What is up with bacteria?

They've been surviving quite well as unicelluar organisms (they're ubiquitous around the globe in many, many environments, from thermal springs to high altitudes), and they do evolve as they are. Recently, they have evolved a degree of antibiotic resistance.

They can actually survive in conditions that will kill humans.

Bacteria are generally too specialised. Multicellular life arose from single cellular life that wasn't as specialised as common and contemporary bacterial types.

Kinda like asking why don't oak tree's become aardvarks ... well ... it's because they have been divergent for nearly as long as single vs multi cellular life and that divergence has made them rather specialised at being oak trees rather than aardvarks, to put it basically.

THEY DID. Some bacteria DID evolve, while others did not.

Educate yourself, man!

Washing your hands is genocide. Bacteria is a living thing too.

Some of them did, and realizing it led to some religious nut case, that cooled the desire of the remaining ones to follow suit.

Dude, if you were bacteria, would you give that up to become something else?

There is no incentive to. They reproduce well enough in whatever environment they thrive in. Complexity isn't favored unless it is favored, basically.

Sometimes the simplest organism is the strongest.

lazy single cell bastards.Why don't we have super-herpes yet damn it?!?!?!?!