why do others on here think that we adoptees?

It's easier for people to perceive adoptees based on stereotypes and assumptions because, unless you're adopted, you don't actually know what it is like. People like to think they do, but they don't. Being adopted is just as much a part of my life as being a woman and a mother is. It has shaped the way I see things and the world around me. If more people understood how adoption is for us as they understand their own unique life circumstances and how those things are for them, they'd be less judgmental and perhaps even begin to treat adoptees the way they themselves would want to be treated.

I am so used to hearing the stereotypes at this point in my life; I have grown used to it. I try very hard to understand the issues that other people face and it's sad when they cannot do the same for others. But that is their decision.

Lol....If they see us as one dimensional beings, defined by one single part of who we are, it is easier to dismiss how we feel, its also easy to dismiss the possibility that they are choosing to contribute to others feeling the same way. It should be fairly obvious to anyone with half an ounce of logic that like most people, the adoptees on here live relatively normal lives...........there are so many hours in a day that we dont spend on here. I know that I, and several others, have repeatedly attempted to state clearly that I am, in general, a very happy well rounded person..........I have come to the conclusion that many on here only read what they want to hear......and when the post is from an adult adoptee, that isnt very much.

Why do some people assume anything... ignorance. Just consider the source or not, since we don't know anymore about those people than they know about us. Trolls are everywhere, but most of the time you will get a bit of understanding from those on here. It's kind of nice to be anonymous and open up - take the good, ignore the shallow or mean. They don't get it.

Not speaking to you specifically, but there are several adoptees on here who claim that they'd rather have been aborted, that they are in utter agony and misery due to adoption. Then I'm supposed to believe that they lead perfectly happy lives? Sorry, people who are in utter agony and misery don't have happy lives. One side or the other is exaggerated. BTW, this isn't me reading into people's statements. I've seen the same adoptees on one post say that they are in misery, then in another post say they lead a wonderful life. It just leaves me scratching my head because I can't see how someone could have it both ways.

Either you are miserable or you aren't. I can accept that someone is in utter misery and agony. I can accept that someone leads a happy life. I can accept that someone has some dichotomy of feelings, somewhere in the middle. But I can't understand how someone can claim to be at both extremes of the spectrum at the same time. Just doesn't make sense to me.

I was not aware that some think we quiver in a corner.

I hope those who do not have understanding can learn without being extreme in the thought process.

Thank you for asking what was sat in the back of my mind when I was trying to word http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=201103... but didn't quite make it out. <g>

It's a point I've tried to raise before when people've been going on about us doing nothing but eating, sleeping, dreaming adoption. I mean, I know we do eat, sleep and dream adopted, because we are, but that doesn't mean that even the most manic of us are here doing it 24/7 - even gob-shites like me have to sleep sometimes. ;)

I'm not aware of anyone TELLING adoptees that they don't have normal lives. How would anyone "on here" know, unless you are personal friends with them. However, I know some "on here" admit to having horrible lives; some having great lives. I guess it's one's own personal interpretation of what others are thinking of them.

I don't have any ideas. I have a few friends that have adopted and their kids are extremely happy. You can't always know how someone will react to being a parent and that goes for bio kids too. One bad experience should not turn someone off to adopting and I think, should inspire an adoptee that had a bad time to adopt a child and treat them right.

Because this little section of our lives is all they see. And because we have a few tools hanging around who, instead of accepting that adoption is damaging and that people like us have been hurt by it, like to pretend that there is nothing wrong with adoption and there is just something wrong with us. It's easier to blame the person than to accept that one's pre-conceived (pardon the pun) notions about a thing have been wrong.

In short, ignorance on the part of some, naivety on the part of others, and too much time inhaling the unicorn farts for a few.