What's celibacy got to do with spirituality?What about women?

Siddhartha Gautama did have a family life and a child, but when he left that life at the age of 29 he took up the lifestyle of a wandering ascetic so that he could fully concentrate on spiritual practices that would enable him to overcome the problem of suffering. How could he have done this without being celibate? Should he have dragged his wife and baby along with him? And of course when he attained awakening and became the Buddha (Awakened One) he then spent 50 years as an itinerant teacher, available to all as the teacher of awakening. He did return to teach his family (and both his wife and son joined the Sangha later) but how could he have resumed a household life when he was free of all such restrictions and his greater duty was now to wander and teach? The thing is that he had achieved a stage of spiritual maturity where sexual relations had been outgrown, just like a middle-aged man no longer feels the need to climb trees or play with children's toys. In addition, to resume sexual relations with either his wife or any other woman would be irresponsible given the lifestyle he had chosen both as an ascetic during his training and as a wandering teacher after his awakening.

Now there are, unfortunately some sex negative and even misogynistic passages crept into the sutras (the result of celibate male monks expressing their own fears, neurosis, and projections), but there are also passages that have a very positive view of women such as the Queen Shrimala Sutra, the Vimalakirti Sutra, the Lotus Sutra, and even some passages in the Pali Canon that all reject such sexism. The Buddha also taught not only celibate monks and nuns (who had left the household life to train full time) but also householders who were married with families. There were even levels of awakening (stream-entry and once-returners) where one still retained a certain level of desire and so would presumably lead a normal married life (though without any craving for selfish indulgence). However, the stages of non-returner and arhat were assumed to be stages wherein sexual desire had been totally sublimated or otherwise transformed.

I think that the sex negative things that you find in Buddhism are because sexual desire is such a powerful form of craving and often leads to selfish or irresponsible activity. Unwanted pregnancy, the spread of disease, relationship troubles and so many other problems and suffering arise from uncontrolled sexual activity. And of course even the positive things like healthy committed relationships and children lead to the strengthening of attachments to conditioned existence. So Buddhism sees sexual relations as a distraction or even as a destroyer of spiritual discipline and maturity. In addition, when one has matured spiritually it is believed that one will also have transcended such petty pleasures with all its potential troubles and worldly responsibilities. Instead, a life of totally selfless compassion may demand that one live in a way wherein one is able to love all beings impartially in a non-sexual way.

The bottom line is that if you are a Buddhist householder (which is to say not a celibate monastic) than you don't need to worry about giving up sex. Just concentrate on making sure that your sexual life is responsible, caring, and wholesome. If the time should come when you have gone beyond it, then just let it go and enter the new phase of your life. But unless you have attained the rather exalted status of a non-returner, arhat, or advanced bodhisattva I think that this is rather a moot issue.

Namu Myoho Renge Kyo,

Ryuei

Although I appreciate your extreme feminism, I cannot agree that only women should run the world. Men like you show that not all males are so narcissistic.

Throughout history though, people have done what they could to get power, including trampling over any group they could. Women were easy to overpower, because pregnancy is necessary for continuing the human race, but it almost always makes them weak and leaves someone for them to care for rather than try to get power. Thankfully birth control has helped women retain their sexuality while not being forced into childbirth. I'm not sure if I answered your question, but I hope I contributed in some way!

You have mixed up ideas.

1. Hinduism does not say woman is inferior to man. Please read the shastras instead of watching TV.

2. Grihastashram is a way to spirituality is mentioned in the shasstras.

3. Celibacy is for brahmacharis and brahmacharins and sanaysis and sanyasins.

Talking of running this world.......I don't know what you mean by that. We are a patriarchal society, so all laws are made accordingly.

If you are talking of politics, we are being run by women - Pratibha Patil and Sonia Gandhi. What is your problem?

Women in India run better than men nowadays. Remember P.T. Usha?

based on your diagnosis, there are greater different adult males getting on and off the bus, yet there are much less women people driving with greater adult males. What i desire to renowned is, why do the adult males have each and all the money while they get on and the girls people have all of it while they get off?

Denying one's human nature doesn't qualify as "spiritual".

There is nothing wrong with getting laid by your guru.

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Everyone should be so lucky.