What do I do with my out of control four year old?

It sounds like both you and your sons are under a lot of stress. From your description, there is a huge lack of setting reasonable limits for your 4-year-old at either your sister's place or his dad's place.

It is a serious problem that you write about your sister "she just doesnt watch the kids they are just animals". Do whatever it takes to find a loving caregiver for your sons. It's absolutely critical to their development.

Although the first poster is correct that it is the parenting....the parenting doesn't all fall on you so there are limits to what you can do. However...you need to lay down the law that your kids are to behave in your home and EVERYONE ELSES and punish them if they don't. They need to know they will not get away with crap just because you are not there. This will be more difficult when they are with their dad because they know he is their dad and will let them get away with stuff and you may not hear about the bad behavior when they are there so you won't be able to punish it. But if you do know about it, definately punish it.

Some kids are just like that, dont get upset about it. I think you should take a vacation and stay with your kids, books on parenting could help too.

I 2nd each little thing J'adore Paris published and upload to that, do no longer enable her see that she is "getting your goat". no count number what she pulls, preserve a relaxed, disinterested way and expression. in case you instruct her that her strikes are frightening you, such as you initiate yelling or getting crimson in the face, she would be waiting to be responsive to she's "have been given you". basically supply her a clean stare, or advance a "look" for those circumstances, and intensely flippantly say, "properly, that's no longer the thank you to get what you prefer"! forget approximately approximately what you may -- the fewer reaction her undesirable habit gets, the fewer "worthwhile" the undesirable habit would be to her. usually compliment her sturdy habit (do no longer call her a sturdy or undesirable woman, yet do tell her "That replaced into so outstanding of you to share your cookie with your chum"). You admit your self on your submit that each little thing has long previous her way the final 4 years (so her present day habit isn't her fault, you be responsive to -- she is at a loss for words as to why unexpectedly issues won't flow her way anymore, and you have desperate they might't flow her way for all time anymore because you're bored with it.). properly, you won't be able to anticipate her total theory of the international and how it extremely works to alter in one day. Make the adjustments slowly. decide for one habit you desire to astounding. artwork on that one until eventually this is corrected. Use age-suitable self-discipline (time outs, do away with a toy, withhold a fave snack nutrition yet do no longer enable her flow hungry, as an occasion as a substitute of being allowed her widespread ice cream for dessert grant her a banana). supply her option suitable words whilst she swears (drat, etc.). whilst she misbehaves in a save (hiding decrease than racks, working off), at recent take her domicile and flow to the shop devoid of her for some journeys after that (go away her domicile with somebody else watching her) and tell her this is too undesirable she would be able to't come anymore until eventually she would be able to act top (and clarify what you anticipate for ideal strikes: walk with Mommy, do no longer run away, do no longer conceal, stay with mom, do no longer touch issues in the shop, etc). Then supply her yet another risk. flippantly tell her on the thank you to the shop what this is you will purchase. clarify that she would be able to't ask for something once you're in the shop. you will basically purchase those issues you talk on the thank you to the shop. Then stick to it.

I can honestly say I didn't read all of this and can you blame me? I don't want to sound like a males sexual part but you need to control your kid. No kid is straight up bad, and I'm sorry but it's the parenting...