help with 4 yr old sons attitude!?

I have a 5 year old little girl and she did the same thing about 6 months ago. I enlisted the "bad attitude will get you in the same trouble as a bad act rule." Meaning a bad attitude will get the same discipline as a bad act, starting with a warning, time out and loss of privileges in that order just like she would get for any other act.

I have also talked with her and explained (with her agreement) that you can't have a bad attitude and be a happy person at the same time.

A child's bad attitude at 4 is bad, at fourteen it is really rotten.

Sometimes our kids really just need us there to help them transition between activities, especially when they're particularly irritable (like when they're tired, hungry, bored, have to use the bathroom, frustrated etc).

I have a 4 year old as well and bedtime here turns out pretty equally to what _I_ put into it. If I am sharp and commanding and brusque and want it done right now, bedtime pretty much sucks because he'll put up a fight as well. I can't just say "It's time for bed" and then expect him to go off merrily to brush his teeth, put on his pajamas, and go to bed while I just sit in my office and facebook. But, if I help him finish up whatever it is that he's doing, then go with him to brush my teeth too, and help him wash his face and hands, sit with him while he puts on his pajamas, then tuck him in and snuggle up next to him to read some stories, it all goes very smoothly and happily. This is great, and both of us are looking forward to reading a few more chapters in his book tomorrow night.

My best advice about helping him to get past his "It's my way and I know everything" attitude is for you and Dad to stop doing it to him. Yes, you guys are in charge and yes, you probably do know everything, but you don't have to show it by being Boss and ordering him around. It's okay to be empathetic and take his needs and feelings into account. It's okay to include him in decision making and help him learn how to think on his own. Let him see you going through the steps of emotional conflict resolution and compromise. Once he starts getting used to the idea that other options actually exist, he should be a bit more likely to drop the attitude with you.

Well, with my expertise from watching Supernanny (so sad that it is gone) you should get a time out spot! Don't reward bad-behavior, give him a treat when he does something good, give him something small and inexpensive, AND NOT FOOD (you don't want a eating disorder on your hands)! Maybe give him a little freedom (stay up 5 minutes later, 10 minutes to play a video game). You just need to get a plan started! Make a schedule. And when he is old enough make a chores list! Don't beat him!

When he does something bad put him on the time out seat, if he gets up You put him back down! Put him in the seat for 5 minutes, if he gets up his time is reset back to 5 minutes! HIS FATHER ALSO NEEDS TO BE INVOLVED, HE WILL START TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIM IF HE JUST LETS HIM DO WHATEVER HE WANTS! Just get small things like this started and he will get out of this stage faster!

I hope this helps, and Good Luck!

If he gets his way with other people, you need to be consistent with your rules so that he won't end up manipulating you all the time. He's testing waters and he's trying to get everyone follow his demands. Set logical consequences and enforce them consistently. You also need to be firm with your limits so that he won't try and get his way around your rules. It's going to be difficult in the beginning but once you send him the message that your rules are not breakable, he will also stop being so difficult. Good luck!

Spank him over your knee. On his bare bottom.

I think you might have to tell dad to show some discipline...you can only train him