Wedding gift etiquette?

It's good etiquette to giver her a wedding gift even though you were not invited to the ceremony. A lot of times, the family wants to keep the ceremony small. You should also give a present despite the fact that it is a second marriage. You are wishing them well.

Usually, the gift would reflect the amount of money the couple spent, and since in your case, you would only be going to the reception and the value would not be high (it is in the backyard after all). You should however, consider any children or dates you might have with you, and give a gift that reflects the amount of money the couple spent on you and the people you have brought, unless they bring their own gifts. Even if you don't think the couple spent much on the reception, get them a gift anyway, to show that you are a good person.

Wondering why you were discouraged from attending??? A gift is that, a gift and is not obligatory unless you wish to give one. Not being invited, nor receiving an invitation then no gift is needed. Having said that, you know the situation---I do not---Are you then invited to the reception??? Getting confused here----so, if not going to wedding, nor reception, technically no gift is necessary; however, since this is a close family member (and not understanding why your family was discouraged from attending) it is up to you---do you give a gift to "keep the peace" in the family, will he (your relative) I am assuming it is the groom since you refer to the bride's relatives were invited---would he be hurt by no gift??? If it were me, I wouldn't send didlum, but, again not knowing the situation if you want to keep the lines open for future conversation, get togethers, etc. send a check, but def. not for $200-$500. A check for $100 no matter how well or close this family member is, this amount is plenty, gracious, since you were not invited and are simply acknowledging the wedding and care enough to send a gift of any kind or amount.

money in a lovely card.

you should govern the amount not by whether or not you were invited to the ceremony but by how close a relationship you have with the couple. you say they are a close family member so you should give them between 200 and 500 dollars. that is the traditional amount for a close family member. it doesn't matter whether you were invited to the ceremony or even the reception. the gift is based on closeness, not on invitations.

If you attend the reception, it means the bride and groom are spending money to feed you, so bring a gift that you think will repay them the cost of your meal. For a backyard party, $50-100 would be a nice gift.

Even if you were invited to their wedding, a gift is optional.

The fact that this is not a wedding, at best it is a celebration of a marriage, a gift is even more optional... If you catch my drift.

My best advice is just follow your heart. If you are really happy for them and want to gift them, go for it. But if don't really have anything in mind for them, skip it. As far as etiquette, you do not have to bring a gift to this event.

I would not send a wedding gift to anyone who "discouraged me from attending" their wedding. And gifts are never mandatory, certainly not for second weddings.

Why do you have hostility about not being in the ceremony? Do they have a gift registry? If you are really upset about it don't buy anything?