Is it weird for me to be unconcerned about my dad when he's practically dying?

Question

So my life started out with both parents, but at age 11 my mother died. It was just my dad. He never remarried even though there were women in his life. My dad and I certainly didnt have the best relationship when I was a teenager, but he softened just a little bit while I was in college. I'm now 31 and he's has cancer  in the thigh (he says the doctor says it is an unknown type) and has had surgery in the past 4 years, and recently has had chemo and radiation. I call him about once a week because he gets upset with me if I wait any longer than that. When I do call him, he tells me about the effects of the illness and the treatments. I cried one time when he told me his hair started to come out in patches. After that, I have been pretty unemotional and I really dont get caught up in what he's feeling. My sister stays 20 minutes away and she doesnt seem very concerned either. I'm not sure if its because our dad has a history of over exaggerating or if its just because he wasnt the best father when it came to our emotions growing up.  Is this weird?   If there's anyone else that's been through this and have felt very un-attached to a potentially dying parent please write back. I just want to know if something psychological is happening that I'm not realizing.

jaikaipea · Accepted Answer

I am not sure about your feelings but I had similar feelings or lack
of feelings while my mother was dying of cancer.
At first I was very sad but aftera while I guess I got used to the idea
that she was dying.
Anyway, if you want to tell your dad something, tell him earler
not later.
I was planning to sit down and have a talk about some things
with my Mom the next time I saw her...however she died suddenly
of complications from her treatment. I never got the chance.
Cancer patients don't always linger for a long time...sometimes
you just get a phone call out of the blue that they are gone.
Good Luck !

? · Answer

today being fathers day and you not caring that your biological father YOU know the person responsible for you being here after all you did start off as nothing more then his sperm!! yeah you should care about him and his illness but i guess some people are just careless wait till you get cancer and nobody cares then you'll understand but either way it'll be too late!!

OIL Co. BAD · Answer

Everyone grieves differently- their is no right or wrong. But don't let things go until it is too
late. Tell your Dad you love him even if you feel unsure of how he feels- Dads can be terrible about telling us their feelings. I know many who waited and I waited too long
 to tell someone. Then it was too late! Regret sucks.

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Is it weird for me to be unconcerned about my dad when he's practically dying?

3 Answers