Why does my boyfriend think I'd cheat on him?

Question

I never did. 

Here's the story. Back on the day before the first day of spring, my boyfriend said we couldn't hang out the next day, Saturday, which is usually "our day". He had made plans beforehand with his guy friend (they are both straight). My boyfriend is one of my very few friends, I never got along with girls... I love him with all my heart. He's my best friend. And I'm his best friend. So, that night when he told me we couldn't hang out, I said oh..i need some more friends then. And he agreed, because all of my other friends are from a different town so its far away. And i told him that i had guy friends - who were JUST friends - that i could hang with if he would let me. He said yes, it was fine, yaddy yadda. So, i told him that i had plans with an old school friend. He said that's great, he said to have fun, and that he loved me and all that stuff. Well, he didn't talk to me until Monday. I wasn't sure why. He told me that he was soo upset with me and angry and all that stuff. I asked why. He said because I cheated on him.. I told him to even call and talk to the guy I hung out with - he said why should i talk to a guy that you cheated on me with? I told him to ask my family that was there - he said - your family would lie for you. I told him i'd show him ALL of the texts of him saying it was okay - he actually had the nerve to say that I could've forged the texts. Well, he got over it. We were fine. Now and just a few weeks ago, he brought it back up. Once again, he wouldn't talk to me for two days. Then I told him EXACTLY how I feel about him and why I'd never cheat on him. At first, he didn't believe me because his friend's gf cheated and said she didn't.. ANY cheater who doesn't  want to admit that they cheated will say that they didn't cheat, so this just made him seem even more immature and psycho. I have proof that I didn't cheat. Every single one of his ex girl friends cheated on him as well (but he saw them or caught them in the act..). He has no good reason to believe I cheated. His only reason was because i was acting like a cheater by denying it.. WHICH OF COURSE.. Of course i'm going to deny it when I know that I never cheated. I know he's just being cautious, but ignoring me for days at a time and not even talking to me about it and not trying to believe me isn't the answer. I've tried everything. I know he does love me. Just this one boo-boo is really taking a toll on our relationship.. Please help. And no, i refuse to break up with him. Because I put myself in his shoes and he's just being overly-cautious..

jmls123 · Accepted Answer

I know how you feel.  I've been there too.  First, you will never be able to prove the negative.  In other words, if you didn't cheat, and I'm taking you at your word, you will never be able to prove to him - to his satisfaction - that you didn't cheat.  So, if you love him and you don't want to breakup with him, what are your options?  

Counseling is a good option.  One of the signs of paranoia is a persistent belief that your significant other is being or has been unfaithful.  If he's in his late teens or early twenties, this is generally when paranoia begins to manifest itself.  Or, maybe he is suffering from depression.  either way, a good doctor and a little medication may assist him in overcoming his fears/beliefs.  I am not a doctor and am certainly not suggesting it's one of the above, but you may want to consider this possibility.  

If it is not a psychological issue, maybe it stress related.   My ex- when she would get stressed would become hyper sensitive and build minor coincidences into "proof" of infidelity.  Unfortunately, she worked in a high stress profession so we started Yoga together and would hit the gym to relieve stress.  This worked for a while.      

The one thing to be weary of is the development of a cycle of accusation/fight/make-up or "honeymoon phase" only to be accused again later.  This type of cycle is an abuse cycle.  If this cycle develops, it is emotional abuse and you should end the relationship.  

It's hard to rebuild trust, especially if you didn't do anything to cause the loss of that trust in the first place, but if you think he's worth it, then I would highly suggest some form of counseling.

hughlon · Answer

that is a few thing you will could artwork out at the same time. The ideas will fade over the years. they should not be long gone, even nonetheless it gets easier. in case you 2 have made the selection to stay at the same time (which you have) and you have aired all the sentiments out with one yet another i.e. you have advised him how plenty it harm you, he has advised you the way sorry he's and maybe why (IF there even became a reason) and each thing is out interior the open then it desires to no longer be stated anymore. which skill whenever you have a combat, you could no longer throw it in his face or perhaps elude to it. And he stops apologizing and attempting to "make it up" to you that is in the back of you presently, purely flow forward.

Quintin · Answer

Okay...I didn't read all of your details, but I can tell you straight up that you don't need his permission to hang out with anyone. Who is he to you? He has to right to regulate what you do and sure as hell have no reason to flip out. Insecure guys like that just aren't worth it. If you refuse to break up with him, then it's your call. When you're an adult, you'll understand that it's a mistake. Good luck.

Anonymous · Answer

OH GOD MY EYES!!!!!

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Why does my boyfriend think I'd cheat on him?

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