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Our 20 year old son lives with us at home. He sleeps here about 2 nights a week, maybe. When he is here, he spends time on the computer, instant messaging with his friends. When he was in high school and did this, his excuse was that he has friends in Asia and it was their day-time. If I come in, he blocks the screen, is civil to me, and resumes when I leave. He leaves here on his motorcycle between midnight and 2 a.m. to go be with his friends. This has become a regular routine. Allegedly he has many who have this sort of schedule. He is always sober (not drunk or stoned), and when I see him he seems to be healthy. But he's secretive. I worry that he's headed down a very dangerous path, but I don't know any way to know for sure. He knows I am uncomfortable with this, however confrontation will gain me either a well developed, believable lie, or he will stop talking to me all together (not a desirable option).

I would like to know if you have had, or known of, this experience, and if so, what was going on?
How was it handled?

Please don't tell me to kick him out.  Looking for a specific kind of answer. Thank you.

Curious Brunette · Accepted Answer

Being 20 years old he might be looking at porn or using the computer to look at stuff guys look at it which is definitely not something he would want his mom to see him checking out because it's embarrassing. Have you tried checking the computer history? You can avoid confrontation by checking out the history once he has left. 

Also, just ask him what in the world he is doing that he leaves at 2am. He is not 21 so he can't be at a bar and everything else is closed other than Denny's and strip clubs. Do not be pushy or speak at him but instead speak with him. Hope it helps and good luck!

kady · Answer

Well no i haven't had any experience with this kinda thing because i'm only 15... But if i were you i would check his computer when he's not home. But if I were you and walked in on him and he was blocking the screen i would be like " Your in my house using my power blah blah blahhh i have the right to know what your doing." Or something along those line. Sorry if im not any help.

? · Answer

Yeah thats kinda weird. Well listen to kady's advise but as far as going out- one probability is going out with his friends and doing graffitti- between midnite and 4 am is a rush hour for graffitti goers. So what i suggest is to give him a curfew- he is still living in YOUR house. Make him tell you where he will be at all times when hes out- especially late at night. Hope this helps =}

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