Bf thinks i should spank my 10 month old?

Please leave this man before he ends up killing you.

Spanking a 10 month old?? Come on. No 10 month old is a "bad kid". She's still a baby, for Pete's sake. I am not against a spank when a child is old enough to be willfully defiant and understand why they are being punished, but a 10 month old does not qualify. Obviously she's going to get into things at her age, but that's why you have to baby-proof the house as much as you can, and remove her and redirect her if she goes towards something you don't want her touching. And yes, I'd be very weary of leaving her with your boyfriend. He honestly sounds crazy if he really believes she's a "bad kid" and wants to hit her when she's just a baby. It's your call, and you know your boyfriend better than any of us. But just think of your daughter's safety. If you think your boyfriend will really respect your wishes and not hurt her then fine. But if you feel otherwise leave him. You can go to a shelter if you really have nowhere else to go. If your daughter would be safer there then that would be the best option.

Ok, a 10 month old cannot be bad. They can be spoiled and brats, but they cannot be bad. They just do not know right from wrong or what things can hurt them yet. That is your job as parent to teach them.

For example, if your baby pulls your hair, or tries to touch something that will hurt her and you say "no", your voice should change and your expression should change, as well to display your displeasure. A swat of the baby's hand will get their attention, as well. After doing things like this each time you come across a situation that requires you to use the word "no", eventually your baby learns that "no" means she better stop doing what she is doing. Technically, you have "spanked" her, but she has learned to associate "no" with the need to stop her behavior. Give it a little while, eventually, you will never even need to do anything other than alter your voice or change your expression to get her attention.

What? I think spanking is a good disciplinary tool for some VERY stubborn little kids that dont learn other ways, but Jeez!! Shes only 10 months old! She doesnt qualify as a little kid yet! Your not a little kid until your 2 or 3. If you spank her now she wont even understand what she did wrong!

Hello,

Your child's behaviors are normal for her age. Rather than becoming upset over her behaviors, you should just take joy in her being in your life. In a few years, you will look back at her behaviors and laugh.

As far as spanking a child goes, we here at Boys Town do not support any type of abuse to a child. You should remind your boyfriend that you have a right to raise your child as you see fit. You and the child's father are in charge of directing care for the baby. Remember that you have a responsibility for looking after the health and safety of the child and should remove her from any situation in which you feel she could be in any type of danger.

If you have any additional concerns, feel free to contact the Boys Town National Hotline. Our toll-free number is 1-800-448-3000. Trained counselors are waiting to be a support network for you as you work through this difficult issue.

Take care,

Counselor AF

As another user said, a baby does not put two and two together--they will not realize why you are spanking them. It only serves to hurt them and frighten them. I would be nervous around this guy too, especially if he thinks your baby is a bad kid. A 10-month-old cannot be a bad kid--they don't know right from wrong. They depend on you to teach them that, and certainly not by hitting them.

She's not bad just curious. I wouldn't leave her with him. At 10 mo she can learn but keep it for dangerous things like going to touch hot stove elec outlets, quick smack to the hand ( not hard) and a firm no must be done immediately after the incident - if she actually touches the stove I'd skip the smack because hopefully that would trigger ouch and don't touch.

1st, I don't believe in spanking. What else does it teach besides, 'if you get me mad, I have a right to hit you'?! I do not judge people who use it as a very rare punishment, but I do not agree. Violence teaches violence. And how can you ever fully trust someone who hits you? Shouldn'tt you want your kids to trust you 100%?!

2nd, she is not his child (or is she?), so he has no right to comment on your mothering skills. I get that you live with him, but unless she is his child as well, he should keep his mouth shut.

3rd, you obviously do not agree with spanking, especially a 10 month old (that'd just be wrong for so many reasons), and you do not trust him alone with your child. Yes, you need to find a way to move out and you need to break up with him. Why waste your time with someone you know you aren't going to end up with anyway?

If you are still doubting the fact that you should get away from him, sit down and have a long talk with him about this stuff. Sit down after you put your daughter to bed, let him know how youu feel about spanking, what you consider proper punishments, ask him questions, etc. And if you did need to leave her alone with him, and he spanked her, that is abuse-he'd have NO right to ever lay a hand on her. It's scary that you think he could do that. That's why I'd get out of his place and that relationship as soon as possible. Your daughter cannot be living with someone that you can't trust, even if he is never completely alone with her. What if.... And for her sake, you need to be sooooo picky about who you let get involved in her life, especially that close. He doesn't seem worthy of you and especially not her.

Good luck and I really hope it works out for you and your daughter. I really would leave, but until that is possible, make sure it is totally CLEAR to him that he is NEVER to lay a hand on her no matter what!

10 month olds won't put two 'n' two together, they won't understand that , that is the outcome of doing something 'bad'. You do have to set boundries though, teach her no, and don't let her do/get everything she wants. If thats all your worried about, is him spanking her, just talk to him about it.. shes 10 months old,she just doesn't understand. Dont let her get away with everything and youll be fine.

You can't spank a 10 month old, even people that believe in spanking don't do that.

I don't think you should leave her with him. But if she acts like a normal child than there isn't much need for discipline. Although if she does do something bad the proper way to handle it is strictly telling her no.