Keeping secrets between husband and wife, what is acceptable?

Is that it? That's the big 'secret'?

A secret is more like, your husband used to be a woman, or a male prostitute, or a stripper, or has a secret family, or a kid that you don't know about, or a huge secret bank account, or has maxed out six secret credit cards, or has a mistress, etc.

Do you have joint or separate accounts? If your finances are separate and he contributes fairly to the household expenses, then it's really none of your business what he does with his money. I'm sure you wouldn't want him to know about every penny you spend. If you have joint accounts, then you simply need to have a discussion about the budget and the fact that you would like to have a say on where the money goes.

If he is a habitual liar or overspender, those sort of things, then indeed you have a more serious problem. Otherwise, it's no big deal.

Settle down! It's not a big deal. You are the step parent and you must be aware that the dynamics can be in a state of flux. Your husband DID tell you; otherwise you would not know. Right? It was an educational expense for his son. It was going to happen whether he told/advised you or not.

I do believe husbands and wives should keep secrets from one another. It varies from marriage to marriage. I've been married 22 years and there are things I do not tell mu husband. Nothing major, just things concerning my feelings about "things". Sometimes I have conversations with others that he may not approve of. I am an individual and sometimes "do me."

Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. Just tell him that he needs to talk to you before making such large financial decisions. He was trying to help out with his kid's purchase. He didn't do anything wrong except not tell you he was going to do it because that is a large expense that needs to be taken into consideration when weighing bills and the like. This isn't a cause for divorce. If you really want to divorce him, then you have deeper reasons than this.

Husbands and wives should keep lots of secrets from each other. It's the secret of a long and happy marriage.

It sounds like to me you are being completely irrational in this situation. I think he should cover half his sons laptop if he wishes. He obviously was hiding it from you because of the way you might react. This type of thinking harbors anger and some deep seeded issues. I recommend you seek therapy for yourself to find out why you are acting so harshly on this issue. No one in a normal state of mind would react this way. I am not saying you are crazy because I do not know the background of this relationship or situation. I just think this quick judgement is an issue you need to look into. Dig deeper to find out why your reactions are so extreme and seek the help you need. Once you find the solution it might be the right decision to leave this relationship for reason other than the one you posted. Good luck and seek some professional help.

In general, information should be 50/50.

In your case he did not really 'keep a secret', it's more like he did not mention it.

It's his son. He shouldn't have to ask your permission. It is not your decision AT ALL. Stay out of it.

If it is only due to your budget, and his paying took from your bills, then ask that he set aside a special fund for his son, that he can save over time for expenses like that. but as to the decision, yeah, not your place.

Considering divorce, because he WANTS to take care of his child is immature and selfish. You did know he had children didn't you? Why didn't you think to set ground rules for money for his children before you married him?

I'm assuming since you said "his son" it's not your child and that your husband has a job and makes his own money. Therefor it really isn't any of your business. I know that's not the answer you was looking for but it's the only one I have.

oooohoooooooo is dis a very big thing to get divorced.. why we people bring our egoz in between if u really hv such problem be clear wid your husband and sort out the things. u got all rights to speak up dear bt think abt divorce in such a small matter z not all logical. words play magic role and wid talks thing can be clear and solved. tkcr

I get the feeling that this is not the first incident where this has happened (hubby not telling you something) My husband used to not tell me things that he knew was going to upset me(especially with the ex involved). He said he was trying to protect me...................YEAH right. Then he figured out that I was more upset when he DIDN'T tell me stuff, (especially when it came to the ex)-so now he tells me and I try very hard to not get upset about things. Something like this, him paying for 1/2 a laptop would not upset me. Take the ex to dinner to discuss the laptop WOULD upset me. Pick your battles.