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Our sons ex girl friend and her new boyfriend will not leave him alone. He has recently started dating again and the ex is not liking it one bit. To make things more difficult, they have a child together. The new boyfriend has it in his head that he is going to play dad. He informed our son that he will be attending class trips he will be attending teacher conferences, he will be doing the exchange of the child. This man has no right to do anything. Our son has contacted, Friend of the Court, State police and the local police. He will be filing a PPO on the boyfriend today but they are making his life miserable. There is a court order that states all decisions are with the mother and the father, no third party person. No one seems to want to help him. What can he do?

My daughter is an adult and living on her own. Actually she is enlisted in the military and is Gay. She has met her life partner and they are planning a ceremony later this fall. It took me quite a while to come to terms with this as she was raised Catholic as was I. After alot of back and forth and fighting within myself and praying, believe it or not. I have settled within myself that her life after she leaves this earth is between her and her God and I have no control over anything there. I have my beliefs and she is well aware of them.. but I love and support my daughter to the end. I am so very happy that she has found someone who adds that extra light to her life as my husband does to mine. My question: My husband has absolutely no use for Gay or Lesbians, is disgusted by them and has no problem sharing with others how he feels. When my daughter first came out.. WOW did sparks fly. It literally seperated our family in half for a long time. It took a lot of talking and going through sh-t to get to where we are toda... we agree to disagree about her life style choices. He likes my daughters partner and agrees that she is very good for her and he says he is very happy that they have found each other BUT he is refusing to have anything to do with the "wedding ceremony" and says he might attend the reception, he is unsure about that. I do not want him to do anything he is totally dead set agains, however, I feel like he is deserting me. I have supported him through things in our marriage that I wasn't 100% aboard with, but did so for him. Am I wrong to expect the same in return? My daughter is NOT upset at all that her step-dad will not attend. She said she doesn't want anyone there that does not back them or support them and love them as equals-- she does however, feel bad for me and wishes it could be different.

Today, my daughter called and said that the military is beginning to look at the fact that gay spouses should have some rights as hetro-sexual partners do and they are slowly making things available. This could mean however, that they will need to get married in a state where gay marriage is legal and recoognized. We live in a state that DOES NOT. She is very excited about this change and couldn't wait to call me and tell me. In talking with my husband shortly afterwards, he went completely silent.. when I said he name again, to make sure we hand't been cut off he just said he doesn't think it is good at all and doesn't believe there should be any rights shared and we then basically quit talking and hung up. I feel very empty about what just happened. It is pretty obvious that I will never be able to share that part of me with the person who is supposed to love and support me no matter what. Am I expecitng too much here? Am I being unreasonable to ask him to be there for me?

Does anyone else's significant other/ spouse NOT do Valentine's Day? Mine absolutely does not. Thinks it is a Hallmark Holiday. I don't get too very upset about it as I feel the same way about it but it would be nice for even something little.

I sent this once and don't see where it went.. so am sending again, because I really need to know what I am up against here..... several years ago-- about 2005-- I got into some financial trouble and took out several on line pay day loans. (Please save the lecturing on this, I am well aware how STUPID it was) when you are desperate, you do things you probably shouldn't. Anyway I took out several loans and got into a vicious circle as to trying to get them paid off. I was terrified as they threatened to have me arrested, to do bodily harm to me, my family etc. I finally called our local DA's office to see what I could do. They said to try to pay them back the best I could, but that legally there is no debtors jail etc. So as the "vultures" kept calling I made payment arrangements with them and paid them all off, or so I thought. Today, I was contacted by a woman who says that there is a law suit in her office and she is contacting me to try to get it worked out before it is sent to the local DA's office against me. She says it is for writing worthless checks... during all of my financial problems, there were several unathorized withdrawls that caused my account to go NSF... the bank closed the account. I paid everything back to the bank and thought I was cleared up-until this woman contacted me today. She never did say what office she was calling from and said I "should have" received a Affidavit in the mail, which I did not. She then proceeded to read me the charges that are pending against me and they are for a pay day loan group who says I still owe them $600.00. I kept all of my documents for several years and when I heard nothing from them, I threw them all out. So I no longer have any proof that they were paid. I have an appointment with my lawyer tomorrow, but am freaking out about this today. Does this sound legit? On one hand I am thinking it is another scam to try to get more money out of me and then on the other, if it is legit, I definately don't want to have any criminal charges against me. I have NEVER been in legal trouble..... 1 speeding ticket is it. Has anyone else dealt with this and if so, what should I be doing, other than what I have done?

Again, please do not preach on the devils of the pay day loan world... like I said I am well aware and learned that one the hard way!

Hi everyone..... I know that I am not the only person with this problem so I am wanting to know how you solved this problem, if you have and even if you haven't, what you have tried?

Here is the deal, I have two men/boys (one is 19 one is 18 turning 19 at the end of this month) who live with my husband and I. One is my stepson--he lived with us part time until he was about 11 and then we got full custody of him, the other is a foster boy who has lived with us for 2 years and is now not in the system anymore, but really does not have the life skillls to get out on his own yet. The problem is that both boys REFUSE to pick up after themselves and take care of their own things. They both work and earn their own money and support themselves so that is not the issue. But they believe that when they get home at the end of their day they are totally free from doing anything more. They will walk in the door, strip their clothes and wherever they land that is where they lay, head to the shower. Dirty hand prints all over the wall, wet towels left on the floor, toothpast in the sink, razors and shaving cream left on the sink, stuble left IN the sink and this is only the beginning. I work myself and this is what I come home to EVERY DAY!! They both do their own laundry--well I should say it gets washed and dried and then they either live out of the drier, or it ends up in clothes baskets in our mud room (the main entrance to our house) and they live out of there. Of course, as they dig through them everyday, clothes get tossed here and there and just left. If after dinner, I ask them to take the garbage out or clean up the dinner dishes, you would think I am asking them to cut off their left arm. Of course, I am a bi-ch because I nag at them all the time about picking up their stuff. It's always a fight. I have tried to get hubby on board and he won't do it. He thinks I am being too picky. He takes care of all of his stuff and helps me all the time, why do these boys think they are any different.

The icing on the cake was yesterday I got home from a BAD day at work, started supper. The boys decided they were going to have friends over and ride 4 Wheelers through the woods and mud--fine. Hubby and I ate supper and covered everything so they could eat when they came in. When I got up this am, they had eaten AND LEFT ALL THE DISHES , THE FOOD, EVERYTHIN ON THE TABLE FOR ME TO CLEAN UP!! Not the way I wanted to start my day. I did not clean it up and they will do it when they get home...but can you imagine what they will be like? I am not a super clean freak either, so I am not asking them to scrub toilets with toothbrushes or anything, JUST PICKUP THEIR STUFF.

I am at my wits end and am ready to just starting hauling stuff to the dumpster......Any ideas??!!

My daughter has been in the United States Coast Guard going on 2 years. In the past couple months she has been diagnosed with Chrohn's disease after a brief stay in the hospital with sever stomach pains. She had her medical review today and they have said there is a very good possibility she will be discharged, she even had to sign the paperwork for such. She is horribly upset. If there anyway that she can fight this at all? And maybe fight isn't the word, but she want to stay in the CG. The Commander said she would have to go 6 months without a flare up then she may be able to stay in. Is there anything else she can do to help? Is there anyway she would be able to go into "A" school and train for another, less stressful position--she is a fireman now. They made it sound pretty hopeless, is that the case?

Thank you for your answers.

There was a question earlier, why did someone call their horse something--everyone answered it was a probably a nickname--so what is the nickname you always call your horse or horses--not their barn names or their regular names, but that nickname you say when you are talking to them? And is there a reason you call them this?

(I said this in the previous question, but I will re-post here as well)

My older gelding (he's 21) I call him "Old Man"--he moves like an old man too-just takes his dear sweet time, will not move fast for anyone or anything--unless he is at the back of the pasture and I call him for supper time--then he trots really fast....LOL

My younger geling (he's 5) I call him "Pretty" --my husbands teases that I will make him a sissy with a nickname like that--but I do think he is verrry pretty!!

Ok--another question to stimulate the brain a bit--If you could invent 1 item to make your horse's/your life easier- what would it be? Mine would be an automatic pooper scooper!!!

An opinion poll: Do you think that most people who are selling horses are, for the most part, honest and straight forward, or do you believe they are con artists trying to rip you off?

Just a curiousity question! Thanks

I live in MI and we are having a bit of a heat wave over the next week or so. What type of things do you do to keep your horses comfortable, if that is possible? My guys BEG to go into the barn--we have an outdoor area for them to get in out of the sun and a really nice shaded portion of our pasture and what do you think they do, but stand up in the blazing sun wanting to go into the barn. I have barn fans that I put on them, but it still is stifling hot. Silly creatures . Just curious what you do to help your horse stay cool.

I started my job in February and am not real close with alot of people here yet. One of the young ladies lost a baby last year (before I was hired) devastating as you can imagine. Just recently she found out she is pregnant again but has been ordered to bed rest for at least the foreseeable future. I am a big one to send cards to people and want to send her a card--what do you think I should send her? We are not great friends and she is quite a bit younger than I am

holiday weekend? Or what will you be doing?

My grandson will be 2 in mid-July. My son and daughter-in-law do not live close to us so we see them 3-4 times a year. This past week they came home for an important family gathering and I am disturbed at my grandsons progress or lack of as far as communication. My son and his wife are WONDERFUL parents, but I am wondering if they are too doting. My grandson points and they jump-- he throws temper tantrums when he doesn't get his own way and they do nothing about it. He speaks very little although I know he can as when it is just him and I-he will talk up a storm. My husband and I babysat one night while they went out with some friends and it took me a while, but we finally had him running around-playing and rolling around outside. He was having a ball. He got dirty like I have never seen him (which is really not allowed by my DIL at all) and went to bed without issue and slept all night long. They picked him up in the morning and he was winey and moody all over again. They live in a very warm area, where it gets pretty miserable outside--so they stay in the house alot. They watch tv quite a bit and since they work alot (she a restaurant manager and he owns his own consturction company), he is at the sitters alot of the time. He is as smart as a whip--I do not believe for one minute he isn't able to do all the things a 2 year old should do, he just doesnt' when his parents are around and they don't make him. They have just entered him into a new daycare/nursery school that I think will benefit him greatly--playing with other kids and having to speak etc. I wish he lived closer so he could spend more time with us (we live on a farm and he LOVES the animals) but that is not possible. The stories I hear from my DIL about her upbringing, her parents were very, very strict, bordering on cruel (opne side of the story I know) my son was disciplined and to be honest once he got past about 7-8 years, I hardly ever had to discipline him, he had a good solid basis of right and wrong. They are both loving parents and I know they believe they are doing the right thing and only want whats best but sometimes I think they are too laid back with him. So do I keep my mouth shut or do I say something to my son/DIL? The not discipling is the part that really concerns me. They have to have a good solid base or they get out of hand as they get older.

Just curious how many of you are currently taking lessons or have a riding instuctor? How long have you been riding and why does everyone assume that people on here need/want a riding instuctor? I have read it over and over again, you need an instructor or ask your instuctor. Is it a demographic thing? Just curious!! :) Thank you

Thanks

Have been at a new employer since February and just starting to get settled in. It is a fairly small company about 30 employees. I am in my late 40's and most of the people that I work with are at least 10 years younger than I am. But there is 1 person here who is continiuosly whispering to everyone. All day long she goes from one person to another and whispers--about what I don't know as I have never been privvy to an episode yet, maybe I am greatful for that one! However, it is the most annoying thing to me. I don't think they are whispering about me, so don't say I am overly sensitive or whatever because I am not-but I think this person likes to stir trouble in and amongst the other employees. There seems to be somewhat of an undercurrent that I can't quite put my finger on, people are friendly, not sure how genuine it is and she leads the pack. She was the person that was training me for a while and I know for a fact that she complained about me all the time, because my Superviosor told me as much and took me out from having to answer to her any longer. I now answer directly to my boss-- I know I should probably ingnore it but it drives me crazy. What would be your suggestions to dealing with such a thing?

We are preparing for graduation in a few weeks. He lives with my husband and I and his mom is not a major role in his life. They had joint custody up until he was about 9 years old then my husband went to court and received full custody. She was on her 4th husband siince they divorced and became very unreliable or dependable. She thought of only what she wanted and how she wanted to have fun and stepson got pushed to the back burner. Many night being left at school for hours as she was to pick him up, getting dropped off at strange mens homes while she went out and partied. There were many, many times he would cry to his dad why his mom couldn't love him, what he had to do to be perfect enough for that. It was at that time when I decided that I would no longer wait for her to do the right thing, I would step in and fill that void if I could. My two children were on the verge of moving on with their lives at this point. His mom has always lived fairly near to us and all she would have had to do was make a true effort to be a part of his life and he would have forgiven her. So I have been the go to "MOM" for a long time and now, with the graduation approaching, she has "seen the light" and wants to step in and be the mom again. She has made a couple friends that work at the high school and has pleaded her poor story on how my ex has brainwashed the poor boy and he won't have anything to do with her. She has made a good sob story I am sure, she is VERY good at that. So now, the school will not let me take care of anyting that needs to be done because I am not the biological mom. My husband is in the trucking business so he is gone for periods of time. He is not always available to do what needs to be done, sign paperwokr, make phone calls, so I have always done it. Well , we have been infomed that this is no longer acceptable. My stepson has told the school that he does not want his mom invovled in his life to that extent and they are basically saying too bad. I don't think it's any of their business. They do not know the pain and misery that this woman has caused and I neither have the patience nor the time to sit down and try to explain everything and I have ALWAYS done this. This is a woman that missed Mothers Day Programs year after year, if I hadn't gone he would have had NO ONE, hasn't been to 1 Teachers Conference since 3rd grade, no plays or school activities, unless it made her look good. I guess I am just frustrated and want to know what I should do? Stuff needs to get done and it won't if we wait much longer.

I am currently employed as a Manager for a trucking comnpany-- I took over the position several months ago--HUGE raise in pay, but along with that came HUGE amounts of stress, being on call 24/7-after hours calls-middle on the night calls--early molrning calls . The company I work for offers no health benefits, no benefits of any kind. I have 2 weeks vacation, but there is no one to back up my position so I can't take time off. The hours are very FLEXIBLE, but the work environment is not real good. It is in the trucking industry and we are under contact. The contract will be up in a little over a year and not sure if the company will renew it or not. I have been offered another position, up an coming company in the medical field, nice facility, people seem very nice. GREAT benefits, profit sharing, bonus incentives and 1 weeks vacation in the first year---hours are ok--not great-but doable. The down side---HUGE cut in pay--- What would you do?!