Sick and tired and don't know what to do?

Hi everyone..... I know that I am not the only person with this problem so I am wanting to know how you solved this problem, if you have and even if you haven't, what you have tried?

Here is the deal, I have two men/boys (one is 19 one is 18 turning 19 at the end of this month) who live with my husband and I. One is my stepson--he lived with us part time until he was about 11 and then we got full custody of him, the other is a foster boy who has lived with us for 2 years and is now not in the system anymore, but really does not have the life skillls to get out on his own yet. The problem is that both boys REFUSE to pick up after themselves and take care of their own things. They both work and earn their own money and support themselves so that is not the issue. But they believe that when they get home at the end of their day they are totally free from doing anything more. They will walk in the door, strip their clothes and wherever they land that is where they lay, head to the shower. Dirty hand prints all over the wall, wet towels left on the floor, toothpast in the sink, razors and shaving cream left on the sink, stuble left IN the sink and this is only the beginning. I work myself and this is what I come home to EVERY DAY!! They both do their own laundry--well I should say it gets washed and dried and then they either live out of the drier, or it ends up in clothes baskets in our mud room (the main entrance to our house) and they live out of there. Of course, as they dig through them everyday, clothes get tossed here and there and just left. If after dinner, I ask them to take the garbage out or clean up the dinner dishes, you would think I am asking them to cut off their left arm. Of course, I am a bi-ch because I nag at them all the time about picking up their stuff. It's always a fight. I have tried to get hubby on board and he won't do it. He thinks I am being too picky. He takes care of all of his stuff and helps me all the time, why do these boys think they are any different.

The icing on the cake was yesterday I got home from a BAD day at work, started supper. The boys decided they were going to have friends over and ride 4 Wheelers through the woods and mud--fine. Hubby and I ate supper and covered everything so they could eat when they came in. When I got up this am, they had eaten AND LEFT ALL THE DISHES , THE FOOD, EVERYTHIN ON THE TABLE FOR ME TO CLEAN UP!! Not the way I wanted to start my day. I did not clean it up and they will do it when they get home...but can you imagine what they will be like? I am not a super clean freak either, so I am not asking them to scrub toilets with toothbrushes or anything, JUST PICKUP THEIR STUFF.

I am at my wits end and am ready to just starting hauling stuff to the dumpster......Any ideas??!!