How do i get out of this?

I had a similar situation with the red cross which is why I refuse to talk to their representatives anymore. I listened to their scenario then I foolishly gave them my phone number and kept calling and calling and calling. You are not a bad person for not wanting to give to this organization who is hounding you. It might be interesting for you to google the number that comes on the call display.

First of all stop feeling bad that you told them lies - you were protecting your personal and private information and there is no shame in doing that. These folks have not earned your trust to give them that information. Why would you want to stress over possible identity theft - had you told her your information you would be ten times as stressed.

It sounds like this woman is using manipulation tactics to get you to comply - she might get a kick back for every account she signs up. People use guilt, difficulty saying no, sob stories, politeness as tools of manipulation. Don't fall prey to their trap. These people are counting on you feeling bad and giving in - don't.

Stand firm with your boundaries and feel no guilt for protecting your privacy which they are invading by the intrusive phone calls demanding information. They are making you feel like you HAVE to give them your bank information, you have to answer their calls, you have to give this donation because you talked to the charity dude. In fact you don't have to do anything you are uncomfortable with and you are under no obligation to deal with this organization any longer.

From now on don't answer their calls, keep ignoring because there is no point in engaging as they are not respecting your boundaries to begin with and the interactions are causing you stress. Call display and an answering machine would be a very good investment for you.

Or if they call say "I'm very busy, I don't have time for this, thank you, good bye" hang up the phone without letting them get a word in edgewise because that is an arena of manipulation which you don't have time for.

These articles on manipulation tactics may be of interest to you as well

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/5-behaviors-of...

http://www.rickross.com/reference/brainwashing/bra...

You also may want to check out videos by 4mingthoughts on you tube and she tells you how to deal with effectively with persistent people who don't respect boundaries - she talks about friends but it can apply to your situation as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEbxppDy9DM&feature...

Hi Kate

It's a fairly common problem, but she sounded like a bully. Stop worrying - you actually did the right thing anyway (with the exception of the lying. I'm equally prone to lie if I'm cornered like that :-P ) - I've a friend who never gives her bank details over the phone when they ring up, as they can just be making that claim. It probably won't be the same person if they ring you again. However just tell the truth, that you hadn't realised what was required of you when you gave them your details and simply wanted to find out more about the charity. You are really sorry, but you simply cannot afford to give ANY money at the moment, as you're a student.

You may even want to phone up the Red Cross yourself and check that they've actually phoned you. Much as certain charity workers can be pushy, they're not normally that harsh, if someone's managed to get your number, then they'll have others and it maybe a scam.

I remember having an argument with a caller, when I was 28, who asked "Was my mummy or daddy in?" I realised after 5 minutes of aiming to convince him I was an adult, that I didn't want whatever he was selling anyway so what was I doing!!! There used to be an old lady in our church, who used to take calls like that as evangelising time! "There's nothing you can sell me love, but let me tell you something..." I don't know what the laws are now, but back then, they weren't legally allowed to put the phone down on you, so she had them stuck.

Take care

Helene

You are not a bad person. Do not feel guilty. Do not feel any obligation to be polite to this person. From what you wrote, I do not believe they are a legitimate Red Cross employee. DO NOT, under any circumstances give them your bank details. You can and should get angry with this person for trying to make you feel badly. Your gut told you something was wrong. Your radar went up, like something was a miss. You were right. I would not take even one more phone call from them. I would assign their number with a "silent ringer", or I would block their calls. If you decide to take their call, they will try their hardest to make you feel guilty. They won't be nice about it either. You are the one that shoud make them feel badly and tell them you've already filed a police report. But I honestly think you shouldn't even take their call. You have no idea who this person really is or what they are capable of. Keep your distance from them for your own safety. Take care.

KAte don't you watch the news? NEVER give anyone your bank details over the phone. Furthermore, any legitimate red cross person would not hound someone for bank details. If you have that number on you cell phone I would call the police and let them know about it. And I mean it. NEVER give anyone your bank details.

The pigeon drop is the oldest con in the world, and you were almost taken if I'm correct?

Don't donate money in the streets, today, it's too likely that it may a copycat of the real deal. Better to get the headquarters address verified and mail in your donation, especially in today's economy.

Your not a bad person. Tell the person on the phone that you don't have money to give at the time, but in the future you could donate. Say have a nice day and hang up. Don't give them time to respond. Say it polity, but firmly.

never give your bank info over the phone and don't let anyone guilt trip you over your hard earned money- you do with it what you will- when they call tonight- tell them you looked at your balance and haven't the money to give at this time and to give you their # so you can call them at your convenience, the next time they call tell that person you told them you would call back at your convenience and you now want them to take you off their calling list- best wishes!

If saying "No" to those solicitors seems too harsh, it's ok to say something like "I'm sorry I can't help your cause" or "I wish I were able to help, but I can't." Smile and walk away. Don't answer anymore questions. Don't make anymore eye contact. Don't be bullied or harassed into something that doesn't work for you.

tell the truth. If you can't afford it because you are a student then tell them. They probably won't stop calling though, so you may eventually have to man up and tell them to go f**k themselves, and that you don't give a sh*t what happens to the needy. Good luck!

You're a weak person, not a bad one. Just don't do it. How hard is that?