Getting married in a civil ceremony and then "renewing" vows a few months later?

Question

My fiance and I have been engaged for over a year. We had planned on getting married this October, but I became pregnant. I have since had our son and we still planned on getting married. I however, lost my job and thus my health insurance. I had some minor health complications after delivery but they will require some follow up medical attention, which I don't insurance for. I really don't want to go on any kind of government health plan and so my fiance and I are talking about getting married in a Justice of the Peace ceremony next month. However, most of my fiance's family will not be able to make it and most have already made plans to come to our wedding in October. I have been looking up opinions on this and most people say it is tacky, though most of them are talking about having 2 weddings, which is NOT what I want. I want to have a small family gathering later where we exchange vowels that we have written. No tuxes, and even if I did wear a dress it would be simple dress not a big fancy wedding dress. We would probably also have a family dinner afterwards in lieu of a reception.  Our anniversary would be the day that we had the JOP ceremony, I just want his family to be able to attend. Is this a terribly horrible idea like so many people are making it seem or is it doable?

Alison · Accepted Answer

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your plan. If there was then people would have to say it's stupid and tacky to renew vows under any circumstances.
(In case you haven't noticed there are a lot of sheep on this site.)
Since you wan't to include your family in a celebration but need the legal status for your health and the baby you should go ahead with the JP wedding and renewing your vows so you can share your continuing commitment to each other.
Have a lovely time.
Best wishes and congratulations on the baby.

12345 · Answer

While I agree with Perse, I don't see anything wrong with what you want to do.  
You are correct, the problem most have is with people trying to renact their wedding (or worse, lying to their family and pretending it is the real deal).  I don't see anything wrong with a tasteful vow renewel. 
Personally, I don't get the whole vow renewal thing but if you really want one, how you planned would be the best way to go about it.

Anonymous · Answer

I suggest you have the quickie ceremony and leave it at that. You will then be married so there is no need for a wedding. His family will miss out, but it's more important that you be married now. You're a parent, you have bigger priorities. Besides, if you're pushing the wedding forward for financial reasons, how is it you have the money to host a fake wedding in a few months time?

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Getting married in a civil ceremony and then "renewing" vows a few months later?

3 Answers