how can i keep my marriage alive and healthy?

Have you actually TOLD him in bald terms that you are unwilling to live in a sexless marriage? And if so, what was his reaction?

If he acts like he doesn't give a rat's patootie, then you have the option of going outside the marriage or divorcing him.

If he does care and you say he's in good health, then any reputable physician would prescribe a drug specifically designed for such problems, such as Viagra, Cialis or Levitra. These drugs do work and he would become interested VERY fast. I know this for a fact, lol.

They don't check just hormones, they also check circulation/blood flow to be certain the problem isn't physical, though. Stress is enough to turn anyone off.

I hope you can work this out. It sounds like you enjoy each other. 3 years is a long time to have already waited. I think if it was hormonal or stress that it would have changed by now. Does he continue to be affectionate?

Are you sure he isn't seeing someone else? I hate to even mention it but that is often the reason for lack of interest. Or, is he drinking too much? Working too hard? Any medication changes?

At this point, I think I would just stop talking about it to him. I would try to be kind and supportive and let nature take it's course. Talking could be shutting him down and making something spontaneous more of a chore in his eyes.

I would try some new solo activities away from home or spend time with your friends to give him some space. Maybe see a counselor alone just to discuss your feelings and your future.

This is really his problem, not yours. If he needs to reduce stress then that's what he needs to do. Go on with your life, just be there when he needs you. Good luck.

Love, compassion and the ability to grow together happy in each others company. You enter a marriage as two separate people with some of the same goals in mind. You get your house, have your children, have holidays, new cars, save where you can but you are still two individuals - not joined at the hip. As your children grow older they need you less, your home is tidier, your finances more manageable and hopefully you've a good circle of friends and have your own hobbies, some shared, some not. Staying healthy and keeping yourself mentally active too leads to a better lifestyle and less stress.

I completely agree with Rita.

Since you've been through the routines and the therapy bit, maybe it's Time To Save The Marriage.

That might mean thinking outside the box.

As quite a few have noticed, I'm a travelling person. I'll zip off on a trip at a moment's notice. In your case, I'd seriously consider breaking out and planning some sort of Romantic Trip, to somewhere where there's sunshine and golden sands, azure water and tropical nights laced wit margaritas and music. The excuse to wear a bathing costume all day. To sleep in late. To have legit excuses to use sun-tan oil (liberally)

And those kinds of places are found in the States too, so it doesn't have to cost and arm and a leg. I know. I've been there, to some.

Been there done that... what worked for us is getting out of the ordinary and trying new things together. We have gone hiking in the woods and getting frisky in the wilderness that was a major turn on for my husband. The adrenaline kicks in when you think you gonna get caught and makes it so exciting so we enjoy doing daring things. Try sex toys, sexy outfits, and new positions, our sex life is great. Most importantly try communication in the bedroom that can go a long way in keeping your marriage healthy. Good luck.

To keep a relationship together and healthy, the both of you must honestly and sincerely discuss things deeply. Without accusations, but revealing the deep down feelings and earnest desire to work things out.

People have different levels of libido and some may wane sooner than their mate. Again - talking over sensitive issues is a must to hold your marriage together.

That is what my ex and I failed to do and we are not together anymore. More's the pity on that one.

Stop making your daily lives about the lack of sex and instead make it about the enjoyment of each other. Do things together that make you each laugh and enjoy each other's company. Give hugs and kisses with no expectation for more. Cuddle and caress because skin to skin contact is enough. Dance. Teach your man exactly what it is he is missing by not being physical with you....and if that is not enough to get him motivated to try pleasing you. If erectile pills do not help. If he still turns away from you and ignores your needs. Then get them met somewhere else.

Yes, I said that. If your husband is stupid enough to deny you physically when he knows just how much you need the release, then he should be man enough to allow you to seek that release elsewhere.

You can change your own attitude to realize that sex isn't really something you need. If you think you need it, then you are obsessed with it, because you really don't. Substitute that particular attention with snuggling, massaging (shoulders, backs, feet, etc), and just being very loving. You can be romantic and fun without having to do the deed. It's all a matter of controlling how you think.

Communication! Spend much time, in fact most of your time when not at work doing everything together, in the house and in recreation. I learned how well that works in my second marriage.

You could try that blessed viagra they swallow like water...maybe just the age and strain of sexual activity caused him to lose interest...he may not want to admit that...