I need help in nearly every aspect of social communication! Please, have mercy!?

Question

I am a teenage girl who is very active in sports, talented in school, and attractive. To explain, I am a state competitor in cross country and track, have never received anything lower than an "A" on a report card, and am tall, thin, brunette, and beautiful. So, every year before school starts I'm asking myself the same question...Why do I feel like an outsider in my group of friends? Also, why do boys virtually shun me?

I hang out with the "in" group of girls at my school. I really fail to identify with any of them though. My old BFF and I kinda separated because our friend group split down the middle. She went to one side and I went to the other and things definitely haven't been the same. So, I try to fit in but I'm  never invited to any parties or get togethers and I feel lonely and ignored. How can I become more a part of my group and gain some popularity, or at least gain some level of comfort among the people who I choose to hang out with.

As for the opposite sex, I fail to understand what is so off-putting about me! I'm very shy and rarely talk. Some have told me that boys are intimidated by me, but how? I never even speak? I get nervous and "crush" on different boys but never do anything about it. Any guesses or tips? I really want a relationship at some point this school year. 

Please help me! Anything is appreciated! Thanks in advance!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Sounds like me. Haha
Well for the friends, if they're not treating you right, maybe you need to find some other friends. Don't try to be prissy and fake if it means you'll get popular. You know, I've been down the popular road before and I honestly don't like it. Rumors get spread about you and they can be pretty harsh. 
As for boys, people say I intimidate boys too because I'm athletic, talented, and pretty. As much as it sucks, YOU have to make the first move if you like someone. The boys think you're out of their league, so they won't approach you until you approach them first. 
Good luck :)

skatermeg · Answer

First of all, know that you are not the only person out there like this! everyone feels insecure at some point, and teenage girls are no exception. just try to relax. don't try so hard. if you feel like you don't get invited to things, then try initiating some kind of hang out with a group of friends. you need to act more relaxed around guys! don't get all up tight and nervous or they'll never realize how cool you are. just be yourself and be funny. try going to parties. parties are great ways to meet people because the atmosphere is generally more relaxed. don't be intimidated. talk to the guys you like. even if it doesn't work out at least you can say you tried. generally just relax and don't try too hard! you'll be fine :)

SynChevron · Answer

What you should do is try a different clique. Popularity isn't anything, and won't be anything once you get out of school. Find some true friends that really care about you (Which are usually in the "normal" kid zone). The people don't look as good, but you better be damn sure you'll find someone that cares. Who cares about reputation, and popularity? You can never be yourself when you try to please others. So get with people who like you FOR WHO YOU ARE.

bonjorno · Answer

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? · Answer

well with your group, possibly try and find another that you fit in better with
and as for the boys, try to be more outgoing and confident in yourself so they take notice of you :)

Lenny · Answer

come to my house and ill show u a good time, rawwr.

Anonymous · Answer

Aww you sound cute :-)

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I need help in nearly every aspect of social communication! Please, have mercy!?

7 Answers