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Creative "consequences" for my teenage son?
Yes, asking again...guess I was not explicit enough b4.
Son is 14, almost 15. Refuses to do anything he does not want to do -- so I can't get him to do ANY chores...of any kind. Too old to be sent to his room. Grounding doesn't faze him (besides, he sneaks out when he wants to go)
I'm handicapped, so cannot physically take away Ipod or computer, or stop him from doing things. His only internet access is his Ipod. His computer does not even have the hardware for internet access. I DO have security on OUR internet wifi, but one of our neighbors doesn't (I don't know which one)...so he gets on that way.
My husband is a pushover, and will not help enforce any rules. He even does my son's chores, rather than make him do them. He bemoans our son's behavior...but does nothing to help. (Although he WILL enforce punishments that I set...after he argues our son's case for mitigation of the consequences.)
Both my son and daughter are healthy/skinny and have healthy eating habits. My son is a typical growing boy -- big appetite...and he does like sweets. He does not respect any limitations though. Anything that's brought into the house, even if he's told it's specifically for daughter or hubby, and he may not eat it, he feels entitled to power right through it. If I don't bring it into the house, like candy, he gets at school, etc.
Because he does no chores, he gets no allowance.
As to what he does do merit consequences:
Gets physical with by his sister (age 9) and myself, never quite enough to call the cops, though, but...(we've gotten in the habit of "running errands" in the afternoons to minimize the time we're at home with him.) My husband works nights, so he's not home, much, when the problems occur.
He steals. I can never be sure where some of the stuff that comes into his room comes from. He has no job, no money from us, yet there's always candy, sometimes small electronics, etc. He's been caught several times, but people continually let him off the hook. (Got caught - on video - stealing a hard drive from the library, they declined to press charges, even though I asked them to. Got caught stealing from JC Penny, offered a diversion program, only did half of requirements, but graduated though anyway. Costco has officially banned him because they keep seeing him on video goig into out-of-bounds areas - and then they find torn into boxes, but they haven't been able to catch him in the act.) ETC
He's been expelled from school. He's now in a continuation school for at least a semester.
Yes, he's in counseling. His counselor met with Hubby and I. She suggested that he and I try to find other consequences for our son. At my wit's end trying to find alternatives, so I'm asking you all for help.
3 Answers
- jimrichLv 710 years ago
re: My husband is a pushover, and will not help enforce any rules.
>> Your husband is THE PROBLEM here so take him to either marriage counseling or family counseling RIGHT AWAY!
re: Yes, he's in counseling. His counselor met with Hubby and I. She suggested that he and I try to find other consequences for our son.
>> GET A BETTER COUNSELOR!!!!
Then Google: parenting classes on line and learn how to do it RIGHT once you fix your obviously harmful issues with that pushover husband.
re: He steals.
>> Better HELP your son pretty soon before he ends up in prison like my older brother did!
Source(s): Bad parenting - Anonymous10 years ago
He'll be screwed when he gets into college, if he ever will. Have you tried spanking him? Even if he's too old for it, he's not acting mature so you could. Tell him he's going to fail at life if he doesn't shape up.
- Anonymous10 years ago
Sounds like he's a mess as soon as you can kick his *** to the curb, society has claimed another victim