Young boy potty accidents.. help!?

My son is 5 and we're having this problem. What we've recently tried that's helping is having his friends over, and when they go to the bathroom, we have him wait right outside, and we say things like "Wow, _____ is using the potty! He's a big boy!" You can also go out and buy a pack of underwear with his favorite character on it, and then if your son wants to wear them say, "Oh, I'm sorry. If you're having accidents, you wouldn't want to ruin these nice underwear, would you?" Then let him wear a pair, and if he has an accident, don't tell him that you can wash it. Say, "Oh, this pairs ruined. I guess we'll have to throw it in the trash." And say "only 5 pairs left in the pack!" And our son has used that as incentive to not have accidents because he loves the underwear so much!

"We have tried every angle from the "it's not a big deal", hourly reminders, punishments, cleaning up himself, grounding from toys/games/etc"

I see two big mistakes in your list...punishments and grounding.

You are confusing the kid...unintentionally I suppose. Most likely he is just trying to stop going pee and poo because he is NEVER sure of what mom and dad's reaction will be...happy or angry.

So he just figures he will solve the problem my simply not going pee and poo anymore...and of course that is impossible, hence the increase in accidents.

Yes I know it is frustrating for you...but don't you think your son is frustrated as well? Kids do not do well with mixed messages. By punishing him you have sent him a mixed message...you have told him that accidents are punishable, you have taught him that accidents will get him in trouble.

Of course it is a totally different thing if he is doing it on purpose just for the attention...but from what little you wrote it sounds like he gets enough attention. Younger or older brothers or sisters? If yes then I suggest laying on a little more attention him for awhile. I also suggest you get back on track with nothing but POSITIVES from here on out.

Here is an example of how a negative experience concerning bodily functions can put a quick halt to progress. My son, 2.7 now, was 2.2 when he first said to me while rubbing his tummy "daddy I have to poop". I asked him if he wanted to put it in the potty and he said yes. My wife and I took him into the bathroom and got his pants and diaper off and put him on the potty. He pooped out 2 turds then stood up and turned around to look at them...and promptly dropped a third turd on the floor and immediately stepped in it. My wife, a clean freak, raised her voice in protest for about 2 seconds until I firmly got my hand over her mouth.

I picked him up and put him in the shower to clean off his foot and immediately started praising him for the 2 he got in the potty and I never said another word about the one on the floor. But he saw his mom cleaning it up and he said "I poo poo on the floor and step in it. That's bad". He got the idea it was bad from just 2 seconds of yelling from his mom. That 2 seconds knocked our progress back by about 5 months. For the next 5 months everytime I asked if he wanted to put his poo or pee in the potty his response was "I put poopy on floor. I stepped in poopy. That's bad". He succeeded just a few nights ago and I am hoping we are back on track for being diaper free.

You have tried the punishment and it did not work...so scratch that as a solution.

He is 6. Talk to your son. Don't talk to him like a kid, talk to him about it like he was an adult. He knows when his body is telling him to go, so just ask him why he stopped listening to his body, see if TOGETHER you can figure out just what the problem is.

Good luck, hope this helps.