Parents: do you think you could cope with a special needs child?

I know I can. But it has taken a toll on our family at times. And even driven me to anxiety attacks for which I have had to be medicated.

My son has a diagnosis of Asperger's and OCD, although I believe he may have Bi-polar disorder.

I think you could cope, because you would HAVE TO cope. You can't just trade your child in for a new one. You have to adjust. You have to grow as a person. Yes, it is hell on earth a lot of days. But, he is my child. And I love him as much as I would love any child. I chose to bring him into this world. Now, it's my responsibility to protect and nurture him. Even though it takes more effort than I had planned.

Seriously though, thank you. Parents of kids with special needs often feel alone. They also often are sent the message by society that they have done something wrong in order to make the child "different", or some other sort of faulty. The child is also routinely treated as though he is simply bratty, or is damaged goods. Which is hard for a parent to see. Seldom does anyone step up and say, "Wow, what you do for your child is amazing". I really appreciate it.

Edit- Thank you again. And thank you for being there. Us parents didn't sign up for this. But, people like you do. And that speaks volumes for your character. Your job is often thankless. And it is nearly impossible to quantify "success" in your field. I am very close to my son's teachers, as I have utmost respect and appreciation for them. They could do any job. But, they choose to help kids such as mine. That means so much to me. :-)

My youngest sister is 13 years younger and handicapped. She has grown up to be as responsible as she can given her limitations. I'm very proud of her.

When she was little, my StepMom worked from 3-12 six days a week. This meant that my siblings and I were responsible for her most of the time. It was trying, but looking back on those years, it was so rewarding. However, as a result, I did not decide to have children until I was in my 30s.

I do think I could handle the stress that would come from having a child with special needs now. Probably not in my twenties.

My daughter is 27 but has a cognitive age of 18 months and physical disabilities. I cope because I have to, I love her and could not stand it if she were in residential care where she would be unhappy. It is not as bad as it seems because you are just looking after a baby, it is only when you look back that you realise how long you have been doing it. I am very grateful for people like you who choose to do this for a job, it is not something I would have done given the choice.

I didnt think I could. Then, I married a man with a daughter that has Downs...along with her two younger brothers. We had custody of all three of them. You deal with what you have to. My daughter is amazing and has taught me more about life and love and how people are supposed to treat each other than I would have ever learned otherwise. I also had a son later and he is mildly autistic. He, too, is amazing. I dont feel amazing and dont need respect. These are my kids and I love them. You do what you have to do for your children.

BUT, its good to be honest with yourself.

Yes, I think I could. It would NOT be easy, it would be heartwrenching, stressful, frustrating, and hard on the whole family. But in my experience with life, somehow when life deals us with things we think we can't handle, we just DO.

Having worked with special needs children of all ages as an Early childhood Educator, Group Home counselor and Educational Assistant, it is not easy. But these parents are strong, and they advocate on behalf of their children. I would do the same. I would also seek every possible support organisation that exists.

I believe the hardest part - for me, anyhow - would be not seeing your child do things that other children their age do. Not hearing your child say "I love you". That would hurt.

But you would celebrate every single success your child achieves, no matter how big or small.

EDIT - I once worked at a child care centre. There was a boy there, about 4 at the time, with severe cognitive and physical development issues. He could not walk, talk, or even eat. He had a GI tube, and was at the cognitive and physical level of about a 6 month old. His mom was very very young, and also had a two year old at home. She had respite care every week-end for this child, and he attended daycare M-F 9-3. One day, she brought him to the respite hom and told him that she could not cope anymore, and they could keep him. How a mother could ever turn her back on her own child is totally beyond me. But I have not had to walk in her shoes, so I guess it's hard for me to judge her. But it's also hard not to judge a mom who gives up her 5 year old.

i have a child with learning difficulties mentally not physical and attends a special needs school ,through them they have helped me and my son loads as along with doing parent courses with handling children with difficulties, i take my hat off to parents who has it alot harder than me but no matter what i couldn't ever turn my back on my child even if had special needs or not. i'm Truly grateful for my kids.

No. I have a cousin who is mentally disabled to the point where she will not be able to take care of herself so she will be living with my Aunt for the rest of my Aunt's life.

Spending even a week with her (like when we go on vacation) makes me want to kill myself. So I can say honestly I could not.

As for how I would react to having a severely disabled child I couldn't tell you.

I am not sure I would be able to live with myself if I put them in a group home but I would definitely commit suicide if I had to live with someone like her for the rest of my life. Shes not a bad person, she doesn't know what she's doing, but if I realized that I would be living with that for the rest of my life I would very quickly find the rest of my life not worth living.

It is a challenge many parents deal with, but what is the alternative? Throw a child to the Wolves? They didn't choose mental disorders, Autism, Downs, blindness, CP, etc. Should they be loved any less?

There are programs and help is available and my opinion is not at all one you might follow.

My mum dealt with me having bi polar...

I wouldn't love the child any else, you would just get on with it and provide the highest level of care you can...

Yes it would be hard but surely you would do anything for your own children.

You would,if it was your child . i have a special needs child and I love him more than anything in the world and although at times its not easy ,I would not change having him for the world