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Need improvements in this descriptive paragraph!!?

Nothing is better than grandmas unbeatable apple pie. It all begins with the simplest ingredients: flour, fresh apples milk and butter. She has always kept the treasured recipe a secret; a confidential recipe, yet with a glorious finale. The final product is a sizzling, steamy hot pie. Its gloden look and apple fragance beg you to eat it. You can observe the delicious juice and the very essence coming out of your piece as glowing lava, glowing and escaping from the piece. Its steamy flavor floats into your nose giving you a glimpse of what is to come. Grandma always makes two of these delightful pies, for one will not satisfy your hunger!

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  • 10 years ago
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    golden* fragrance*

    You: You can observe the delicious juice and the very essence coming out of your piece as glowing lava, glowing and escaping from the piece.

    I'd say instead of repeating "glowing" use "radiating"

    Me: You could observe the very essence and the delicious juices and coming out of your piece as glowing lava, radiating and escaping from your slice.

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