Divorcing one's family?

I am an adult and my father died about seven years ago. Since that time, first I listened and tried to comfort my mother in the grieving process. Then she expended a great deal of energy on guilt trips to get me to move to her home, not her town, not her area but back into her her home. I live about 800 miles away, have a stable income and I really don't care to move back into my mother's house and be treated like a 14 y/o again which is what would happen.

She would spend each day watching the funeral video of her husband's (my father) funeral. Then the guilt trips started.

Boo hoo, poor me. *** (My father) is gone, I don't know what I'm going to do. What I did was clean up his mess, litereally. The Department of Natural Resources came in because my father had taken wasted oil from a local factory and it went into the ground. Looking back, I think that the factory would have been liable but I'm sure they would have denied it. His idea was to convert it for heating oil..

I literally spent about three months of my life clearing up the mess he created. There was also the auction which I had to inventory and display. My sister did only one thing on this. She once puppy dogged me around and had her vicious pet dog along with her. When I told her to be quick because I was trying to formulate and write down an item that would be in the upcoming auction, she said "I don't know how to be quiet."

When I asked her to remove the dog as there were a few chickens left that it would attack and kill, she angerally left. Long story short, I compiled a list of what was to be auctioned and not be. For three days I asked my mother to go over it with me but to silence. Then, the auctioneer calls and says he needs the list in two hours. At that point, they spring into action, blah, blah, blah. I'm tired of this at this point and tell them I'm taking a shower as it was a Sunday morning.

They come up, discuss the list and my sister Byatches about it. I look at her complaint and tell her it was a draft that was created three days ago and not the current list.

My mother basically sells everything on the farm and it's in her name. To which, she wastes the majority of the money. Some of it went to my sister because boo hoo.

Things that made sense was installing a central heating air conditioning system not the one that I recommended. Result is it costs my mother more to heat and cool her house per year.

Buying a new car. Yes, I think she needed stable transportation. But, after three times of bringing this up that she put it in her name and my sister's name, and the fact that when she passes, it doesn't go to the estate but to my sister, it's fell on deft ears.

The will states share and share alike. But, according to my mother, my sister needed a Cabinet which was more of a buffet style table. It was in an out building and full of old tools. She took that and my mother claims it was empty. Wrong!

I asked for the main lighting fixture of my grandparent's house as my sister had basically taken everything else. Without asking me, my sister had her husband take down this lighting fixture to "preserve it." The results is that a pre 1930s hanging fixture with bulbs were pulled down. When asked where the bulbs are, "I don't know?" Sometimes these vintage bulbs are worth more than the fixture but she took it.

The library table. I asked for it as my sister had taken everything else. It had one draw and full of letters from the 20s through the 50s. My father before he died moved it to their house and left it intact.

My sister took it upon herself to move it from where it was to my prior bedroom. In doing so, she slid it across the floor, skinned the veneer in some places and ripped it right off in the other places. This bascially destroyed the value of the table. The worst part is stealing the contents.

I know for a fact that before it was moved, it contained the letters and everything from that earlier time. I was given so many stories. One, when it was moved to the new house, the contents were ratty and discarded. Two, my mother wanted to use it as a desk several years later and discarded the contents. Three, when it was moved, the contents were tossed out as they "were just things that needed to be thrown away." Four, my sister's step child said the contents were put in a plastic box.

The results of this was the the veneer was damaged beyond repair. Yet, my mother denies all this.

The trunk. It was left to me, not my sister, not my father, not to me and my sister but to me. My sister has broken into it around three times. From it has been taken Japanese pipes when my grandmother died and given to my uncle by mother mother, though, they weren't hers.

In this trunk were items of personal interest to my grandmother, her mother and maybe