What to do after premature emergency C-section hospitalized son, sever family issues and emotional anxieties?

It sounds ot me like you have a ton going on & a lot of stress & you may be dealing with postpartum hormone son top of it. they will not take your son for needing help with depression/anxiety. That is a very normal thing ot go through after a baby. Even Brooke Shields came out & said she took meds after the birth of her son to try & take the stigma off postpartum depression issues. talk to your Ob about it. Tell him you feel overwhelmed & are having insecurities about being a new mom to such a delicate baby. those are all normal feelings & they will be able to offer medication & refer you for a counselor to help you sort it all out.

You need to voice your concerns and talk to someone. They will not take your son off you for having these thoughts, in no way have you sounded like you may be a threat to him or yourself so there is no reason they would need to take him away.

It is normal to have doubts as to whether you will be a good mum, every first time mum has them, but it's amazing how naturally it comes. I imagine the fears would be worse in your case with your aunt sounding like a nosy, judgemental woman that is obviously trying to take over. Especially with your son still being in hospital and so premature, it is hard to bond at the hospital especially when your son will be needing special care.

Don't worry about being overbearing, some mothers are and some mothers aren't. I did everything for our newborn because I was scared my partner wouldn't do it right, he was scared too so he didn't mind lol. Even at the hospital one of the nurses was showing us how to wrap him up and put him under her arm and jumped up and down, I almost had a heart attack and grabbed him off her, my poor baby was only a few hours old!!

Most of the concerns you are having is normal, but the stress you are under needs to be sorted out, having a new baby is stressful enough you do not need these family issues dragging into it.

Just tell everyone that you and your new little family would like some privacy for the next week or so, you and baby are tired and need to recover. When you first bring baby home, do the same thing as this will be a big change from having little one at the hospital and there's alot of adjusting to be done. It really helps to have a helper over every couple of days, someone who has been there before and can help you with anything. I had my mother come over and she showed me how to bath my baby and would hold him while I had a shower or something to eat. I really helped and gave me some time to myself.

Try not to stress and please talk to someone! Congratulations on your newborn, sorry your family sounds so crazy.

An unplanned C-section is not necessarily an emergency C-section. A previous poster got that wrong. I have had two C-sections. Both were unplanned but only one was an emergency. In the first, I had pushed for hours with no progress and was tired and upset and was asked if I wanted the C-section. I decided to have it but it was not considered an emergency. In the second case, I was having very premature twins, the water was broken, and labor was progressing. The doctor felt a vaginal birth would be too difficult on the tiny babies.

I agree, stay away from you family! I did the same thing to my boyfriend when we had our baby. I dictated his every move. Then I read somewhere not to do this, he needs to find out for himself how to care for your baby! I think you will be an amazing mom. You already sound like it! Sounds like post pardum depression. Be careful, tell your DR asap! ANd believe me I felt the same way as you did about not being a good mother, it really does just come naturally. Change his diaper everytime you feed him. And we he cries, feed him. :) I was 202 when I got pregnant, gained 26 while pregnant, lost 34 by two weeks after. Gained back 18! It takes time!

First. You have post partum depression. All you need to do is CALL your ob and she will likely just call in a prescription for you to take. It's very important for you to do that before it gets worlse

Second. Tell the whole family to f**k off and ignore them. They ALL sound worthless andyou need to be surrounded by good people andyou need to raise your child in an environment that is free from all of this stress. Stress like this can hurt your health and traumatize your child. No one is going to take your baby because you left the hospital, no one is going to take yoru baby because your crazy aunt "keeps a book", you have nothing to worry about. Just focus on being the best mom you can be. Remember that no mother is perfect, we all make mistakes, we all second guess ourselves, we all get exhausted, we all lose our patience at times and have to just put baby down and walk away for a breather, it's OK.

1) Stay away from your family. They sound completely nuts.

2) Tell your doctor and/or midwife about your anxiety issues. Your hormones are all over the place right now, and they will be able to help you. Worrying about not being a good mum and about doing things wrong _makes_ you a good mum. Not a bad one.

I don't have to read the rest of your email to know my answer.

Avoid ALL people who contribute only negative to your life, and that includes family.

This may sound hard, but you know what? You are doing your baby the favour, being around toxic people, even talking on the phone to them effects our moods, babies can feel this.

Most super toxic people have a way of destroying our happier moments and they creep out of wood works the most in moments when we are about to acheive success (marriage, baby, graduation, new job, new home..etc)

Be mindful of this, focus on your new family, you and your husband and your bundle of joy.

On another note: You are going through major major changes right now in hormone levels and I too had a unexpected C-section and went through major blues, while her father stoped speaking to me and went back and forth with his own emotions. I am now happy to say my daughter and I are happier and in our own home together. I would love to help you out in any way (via phone call and chatting) so please email me personally if you would like so we can talk, i wish I had someone who knew what I was going through, it would have helped 100% in my moods, feelings and perceptions of things!!

dwnwitu78@yahoo.ca

If you need to, set one clear boundarie over the phone "I am