Where can I get a fake british passport?

Can't judge your accent but your language structure gives you away as an American in just this short para. For instance, the British don't use the word 'gag' in this context.

Do you know what that penalities are for getting caught with a fake British passport?

When a bouncer challenges you & you explain as a non-EU citizen who needs a visa to live, work or study in the UK you only have the fake passport as part of a gag to see if you can fool anyone into believing you're a British citizen, what do you think will happen? Do you think the police will believe that it's only part of a gag?

If you're going to play a half witted prank do it without fake documents

Israel is not confirming or denying involvement in the Al-Mabhouh assassination, as is its consistent policy in such cases. If Israel denies involvement in operations it had nothing to do with but doesn't say a word about operation it did carry out, then shutting up would be like an admission. That's why Israel doesn't confirm or deny involvement in any case, except for a few times in the past when Mossad agents were apprehended and a deal had to be reached for their release.

Is it really that hard to get laid these days? In my college days, we girls were giving it up like nobody's business.

please know if you do and get caught,it could result in jail time.