Can husband refuse to buy toilet paper, control all homelife (see details)?

Use some of those extra Bibles that you're giving away.

Jeez.

RE:

Can husband refuse to buy toilet paper, control all homelife (see details)?

This evening my husband of almost 18 years, got into a debate with me about the family toilet paper usage. He estimates we are using 6 rolls a day (a cost of less than $1.50 at the Dollar Store here in Anadarko, Oklahoma, USA).

He says he cannot afford it that we may have to ration toilet...

Dear girl i am almost in tears reading this .. This is not the way the head of a family treats his wife .. You are not a slave nor some kind of a robot to be told what you can and cannot buy for your household .. What manner of a man can say he is man and yet disrespect his mate in such an awful way .. I know we are not supposed to leave except under infidelity but your sanity is under attack not to mention your health... I am well aware that our Creator knows what you are going through and i can't help but wonder at what point he would tell you to leave .. I can only support you through words and prayer , you have both... It is not a good idea to let anyone destroy your mind or body weather that is your husband or wife ... For the sake of both i would leave temporarily until your husband understands that his role as your mate does not give him the right to drive you insane ! I believe Jehovah would forgive your act of self preservation so that you could continue on your chosen path... Your husband is not acting rationally , and until he does he cannot be a christian man in any sense of the word ... A woman is a gift from our Creator to man , and is to be treated as such ... any other path for a man will bring dishonor to him , and him alone .

I honestly am not sure where to start with all of this. The first question is, why have you stayed for so long up to now? I think that you're so used to this extreme mistreatment, that your perception of reality has actually become skewed over time. Anybody hearing about your situation form outside of it will know that it's incredible cruel and degrading. You don't even know what life should be like for you, because you have been accepting this treatment from a man that is obviously pathalogically driven for so long. You should immediately contact a lawyer, and if you are not able to use the phone or physically go to one, then you're definitely a prisoner, in which case you should call the police and contact a woman's shelter. Social services should be able to help you as well. You will only get help and improve your situation if you are willing to take the steps.

If there was a situation that was tough to live in, it is your situation. Remember, Jehovah is your rock. Pray to him and pour out all your feelings about your situation. I know you probably looked from your husbands side of things. You need to talk to your husband as well. Your husband should not be so controlling. Leading is one thing. Controlling is another.

I like some of the advice from others on this forum.

Handkerchiefs is a great idea. A one time purchase. My wife is a coupon collector. I do not think we have paid full price for TP for the longest time. You can find great deals. There are times when you can find coupons for TP, get double the price for them and get the TP for free.

Stress is a problem for everybody. It can be a strong reason for health problems including high blood pressure. You need to look for ways to bring down your stress levels. Although your husband is head of the household, you should have say in many things. Find ways to bring down the costs. Do not play the blame game. If you do so, your stress levels will go up. Solve the issue. 8 cats could be the reason why you are having issues with your breathing. I love my cat but we could not break it of pottying in the corner so it now lives outside and comes in to visit. When there is an accident, we use those bags we get from the grocery store in cleaning up the mess.

Make a list of ideas to bring down the cost of living. This is probably why your husband is having stress issues. Coupons do work. We buy food for the fraction of what it would run without coupons. It is just smart to shop this way no matter what your financial status is. When you get the list developed, share it with your husband and children. Then implement it.

One bit of advice. Do not take anything away from your husband with your list. Ask him what he can do to add to the list. Ask the kids what they can do to add to the list. Remember, the family must work together to solve any issue.

I hope the advice I gave you is sound. I also hope the conversation your husband has with the elders is productive. Always trust in Jehovah!

with brotherly love,

Gary

I finally got through on your other question. Not sure why Yahoo is having problems with their "unavailable" message.

Another thing I wanted to add is this. There is a person that I have found very inspiring named Rhonda Britten. Her #1 book is "Fearless Living". She also has phone workshops along with people that have worked her program an became a counselor. A sister in our hall is one and I have been to a few sessions. Look into it. Hopefully he will see a need to go also. Here are some links:

http://www.fearlessliving.org/

http://www.thespeakersgroup.com/speakers/communica...

She is on Facebook and I get emails. Most problems have to do with communication. Sometimes one person "thinks" they know what the other person is thinking when they say something but in actuality, it is not always the case. Learning how to understand another person and how to say things correctly is paramount. Not that I have all the answers.

This is truly sad, especially if your husband professes to be a servant of God. He is in need of serious readjustment.

But it is impossible to give counsel from afar, without knowing ALL the pertinent details.

Still, it is important to protect yourself and your sanity. Every Christian has that right.

Perhaps the best course of action is to consult the elders and mature sisters in your congregation. They would be closer to the situation and would be most probably in a better position to give you the effective help that you need.

No one has a right to oppress anyone else, whether physically or emotionally, and you are within bounds to seek whatever social and legal help that is available.

The first thing you must know is if you want to save your marriage and if you find yourself alone in this desire, waiting for the other spouse to make the first move is the beginning of the end. Learn here https://tinyurl.im/aHLAy If you are looking for someone to blame or someone else to put the emotional and physical work into saving the marriage, again, it's going to fail.

Check yourself into a domestic violence shelter with your daughters. Just make sure he doesn't know that you are going to do it ahead of time. Call the 800 number below to learn how to move out safely.

Delete this question after you are done asking it (rather than choosing a best answer) and then close this y!a account...

Maybe you should provide some more information about your religion, or change the title to "Witness in need of help". I'd like to provide some sort of advice but I don't understand how to help, because I don't see why you can't just get a divorce if he treats you so badly. ESPECIALLY if he's making you sick, and turning your children against you.

LEAVE. As fast as you can. Take the girls with you.

He has obviously become very "anal retentive". If the Holy Spirit were alive in this family, these things would not be of any great consequence.

The mundane operations of a household are nil when compared to a sharing, loving spirit of Christ in a Christian home. Satan is dividing this home because neither husband or wife is being trained in the fruits of the spirit.

Perfect love casts out all fear....in this house the fear is casting out all love.

Turn to Jesus in prayer, and believe He will assist you with the Holy Spirit as a teacher and comforter. May this find you both in peace.