What is the best positioning on the ice?

1. You being here less than me is worse

2. Poor kid! Let the bullying begin!

3. You just described me if somebody skewers me up the ***!

4. Canadians are upstanding citizens.......if only you knew what we have in store for your country!

5. Laces rock *****! :)

6. You got me there!

7. Foghorn Leghorn

Welcome back!

1. What is worse? People banging on the glass or people yelling from the 2nd level at a particular player?

Neither really bother me.. I have to assume that players can hear you.. I called Teemu Selänne a F****** P***y from the 4th row when i was in 6th grade and he looked at me..

2. You know you’re a hockey dork when you wake up out of a dead sleep and yell 'Guy Lafleur'. When I get off the baby killer pills, and I have a boy, I am going to name my kid “Dude Flower”. His chances of being light in loafers?

If i ever have a kid I am going to name him mistake or fun ender..

3. I think the perfect hockey food has not been invented. It must be on a stick, it must have meat (or tofu if you’re like that), and it must be easy to understand (aka not a hot dog). What could this be?

Chedder Sausage with a soft pretsel shell on a stick.. the corn dog of the king..

4. Tonight, watching the Bolts game, they played the American National Anthem, and on the first level the crowd passed the American flag in such a way…like doing the wave. What prevents a Canadian disgruntled fan from snagging the flag and doing something naughty? Do like mimes?

My guess would be the thousands of americans that it would make angry to do something dissrespectful is a good buffer for said canadian

5. I hate jerseys with laces at the neck. The only other option is the v-neck looking thing. What could be cooler at the neck? Turtle neck? Gold Medallion? Clock? Crew neck? Polo collar?

chain mail

6. So, the Bolts have a new organ…all fancy and whatnot. Really….what song is awesome on the pipe organ? I mean…a song within the past century?

Songs I would love to hear on a pipe organ:

Raining blood ~ Slayer

21st centrey digital boy ~ Bad Religon

Welcome Home ~ Coheed and Cambria

Eagle fly free ~ Hell o ween

7. What mascot has not been used by any professional team…and SOOOO needs to be used?

The hockey hooligan... the beer swilling rowdey cureseing hockey fan that swats the cell phones out of peoples hands and harrases the other team..

1. If I ever had the money to get glass seats I'd probably bang on it, but I yell from the second floor anyway. It depends who your yelling at or what your banging at I guess.

2. Very likely.

3. It also has to be heavy enough for you to throw it at great speed at the telivision so some tough meat.

4. Maybe the large amount of American fans surrounding him sort of sizzled out that plan for them.

5. I personally like jerseys with lace on the front. ANy medallion, clock, or any metal object would be hazzardess I'd imagine. And imagine a turtle neck, virtually the only uncovered part of you...

6. I doubt there has been a song on the pipe organ that was ever awesome.

7. The Pillsbury doe boy. I am so suprised no one has snagged that fantastic mascot yet.

1. People banging on the glass, because I'm always in the nosebleeds yelling *looks ashamed*

2. About the same chance that there would be a hockey team in Arizona. Oh, wait...

3. Hummus on a stick! Hummus on anything is yummy, so why not on a stick?

4. Mostly because I'm sure some very patriotic (and very drunk) American fans would "make an example" of said Canadian. Oh Canada...

5. We definitely need turtle necks, preferably with the teams logo. And it can't be a mock turtleneck, it's gotta be a real one that you can roll up to hide your double chin (that's why my english teacher did last year).

6. I'm pretty sure anything by ABBA, "Everlasting Love" or "Ten Cent Pistol" by the Black Keys would kick any church hymns a*s.

7. Clearly the Flamingo. When I'm rich enough to own a hockey team (because on a future journalist salary, that would soo happen) they will be called the Flaming Flamingos. I have the whole thing worked out.

1) You're forgetting the guy who reeks of his own urine wearing a tinfoil hat yelling "SHOOT" 120 or so times a game. You're also forgetting my personal favourite, dude in the front rows wearing either a jersey he just bought for $200, or wearing the entire Ed Hardy collection who's talking on his mobile phone and waving to people (he'll use the term "ya bro" about 147 times or so in a conversation). Oh, and the sushi-eaters that sit below me. I like sushi...good sushi. BUT NOT AT A F***ING HOCKEY GAME.

2) If your spawn's name is Dude, then you better get him a bathrobe, a Ralphs Club Card, and get him hooked on the White Russians pretty quickly (I don't judge parenting skills- I'm pushing 40 and am single and to the best of my knowledge do not have any spawn...whatever the male equivalent of a spinster is...that's me). Maybe a "Little Achievers" plaque. Is your real name Maude?

3) Sweetie, get thee to the Air Canada Centre for a Burkie Dog. With beans. It's the food equivalent of a bad one-night stand while wearing Beer Goggles. Horrifying yet frighteningly delicious, and in the morning, tons of regret. Failing that, the giant slice o' pizza is pretty hard to hate on.

4) It's our unfailing politeness. They do the same thing here with our flag when Allan Frew is singing his warble about the Leafs.

5) The roll collar sweater collar. As seen in the J.Peterman catalogue.

6) I heard a Muzak version of a Vandals song (you young whippersnappers go look it up) the other day. I wasn't sure if that was cool or a sign I'm old.

7) The Drunken Monkeys. Make it happen. And yes, the mascot has to actually be drunk. Commit to the role, I say.

1. Yelling from the second level. I actually don't mind banging on the glass.

2. Dude Flower? Is that first and middle name, or all first?

3. Corndog.

4. Canadians are a bit too polite for anything. But if our team loses, we'll take it out on the city.

5. The clock is a spiffy idea, Mrs. Flav.

6. They still have organs?

7. Joker?

1) I'm guilty of both, LOL!!!!

2) Yep, he'll have a penis in his mouth before he can count to 87 (no pun intended, LOL)

3) The great wonderful corn dog of course! lol

4) Good question. I have no smarta$s response.

5) Turtle neck??? OMG, I ain't wearing a turtle neck! Why don't you just take a black sharpie and right "I'm gay" on my forehead now, LOL. Maybe we could go ultra gay and put a sweater vest on it too, LOL.

6) In-a-Gadda-Da-Vidda!!!!!

7) Has a Canadian Mounty ever been used? Dudely Do Right,,,where are you when we need you?

EDIT: am I the only one who knows about Iron Butterfly In A Gadda Da Vida??? Come on, it's a wicked acid rock song. It even has a pipe organ solo! Slayer even re-did it in 1987! I would post the real tune from youtube, but the Simpsons version is funnier.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PyBWLALFLQ

EDIT2: Yeah, they did it for the movie "Less than Zero". Good flick.

Hey! Welcome back!

1. 2nd level, particular player. If I could afford front row seats I'd probably bang on the glass too

2. lol baby killer pills. I'm not sure

3. A shish Kabob?

4. I think if a Canadian even tried to do that he'd get his *** kicked....but I think it's just out of respect. You just don't do something like that

5. I hate turtle necks. They look good on girls that have chests, and well I don't have that big of one lol. A Crew Neck or a "U" neck would be cool

6. I Like the Phantom of the Opera

7. I'm not that into mascots....But If I were to make one up, it would be scary looking. And not "scary" like a ghost....scary like a Freddy Kruger or something.

1.) Yelling from the 2nd level.

2.) LOL

3.) Pogo's

4.) HAHA Don't Know

5.) Turtle Neck xD

6.) Dunno

7.) Not Sure.